Tag Archive | married

Advice Of ‘Abdullaah Ibn Ja’far To His Daughter Before Her Marriage

‘Abdullaah Ibn Ja’far (may Allah have mercy on him) addressed his daughter saying:

(1) Avoid jealousy, as it is the key to your divorce;

(2) Avoid complaint, as it instigates anger;

(3) Adorn yourself for him, and make sure you wash away any bad odours by frequent bathing.

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Choosing A Good Spouse In Marriage

Choosing A Good Spouse In Marriage

By ‘Abdus-Salaam bin ‘Abdillaah As-Sulaymaan

[Taken From Tarbiyat-ul- Awlaad fee Daw’-il-Kitaabi was-Sunnah (pg. 18-22)]

[From the upcoming Al-Ibaanah publication: “Raising Children in Light of the Qur’aan and Sunnah” by ‘Abdus-Salaam As-Sulaymaan. The book was introduced and commended by Shaikh Saalih Al-Fawzaan.]

2. Choosing the Mother (i.e. one’s wife):

If someone wishes to produce ripe fruits, he will indeed search for the land that is most fertile. One of the great aspects of wisdom behind getting married is to produce righteous offspring that will worship Allaah and serve as a provision for their parents. The Prophet said: “Marry women that are loving and fertile for indeed I will outnumber the nations through you.” [Reported by Abu Dawood] [1]

Furthermore, the Prophet clarified the people’s standards when seeking a partner for marriage, saying: “A woman is married for four (reasons): Her wealth, her lineage, her beauty and her religion. So choose the woman with (good) religious qualities, may your hand be covered in dust.”[2]

Allaah says: “Therefore the righteous women are devoutly obedient and guard in the husband’s absence what Allaah orders them to guard.” [Surah An-Nisaa: 34]

The devoutly obedient (Qaanitaat) here refers to those women obey their husbands – by guarding their honor, wealth and lives in their absence.

The Prophet warned about (marrying) a beautiful woman from a bad origin, saying: “Beware of the green manure.” The Companions asked: “What is the green manure?” He said: “A beautiful woman of bad origin (i.e. upbringing).” [Reported by Ad-Daaraqutnee] [3]

On the other hand, he praised a woman with good religious qualities, saying: “Shall I not inform you of the best treasure that a man gathers – A righteous wife.” [Reported by Al-Haakim] [4]

And he said: “Choose for your seeds (a good mother), for indeed breeding is a strategy.”[Reported by Ibn Maajah] [5]

This is from the rights that a child has over his father – that he picks a good mother for him.

A man once came to ‘Umar bin Al-Khattaab complaining about his son being undutiful to him. He had brought his son with him and began blaming him for his disobedience, so the son asked: “Doesn’t a son have a right over his father also?” ‘Umar said: “Of course.” The son said: “Then what is it?” ‘Umar replied: “That his father carefully chooses a mother for him, that he gives him a good name and that he teaches him the Qur’aan.

At this, the son said: “My father has not done any of these things. As for my mother, she was a black slave woman that used to belong to a Zoroastrian (Majoos). He named me Ju’al and did not teach me even one letter from the Qur’aan.” ‘Umar turned to the man and said: “You came to me to complain about your son being undutiful to you, however, it is you who were undutiful to him before that!

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Does He Have To Tell His Second Wife That He Is Married?

Does He Have To Tell His Second Wife That He Is Married?

QUESTION: I married a foreign woman after she became Muslim in a shar‘i marriage in accordance with the laws of Allah and the Sunnah of His Messenger, and I concealed from her the fact that I was married before. Is my marriage legitimate or do I have to tell her that I am married and that she is the second wife? Please note that I concealed this matter from her because the country in which we live does not allow plural marriage.

ANSWER: Praise be to Allaah.

It is not obligatory for the husband to tell the second wife that he is already married and this does not affect the validity of his marriage to her. So long as the marriage contract fulfilled the necessary requirements and conditions, then it is valid.

Shaykh Ibn Jibreen (may Allah preserve him) was asked:

Is it essential for the marriage to be valid that a man should inform the woman he wants to marry that he is married to another one, if he is not asked about that? Are there any consequences if he denies it if he is asked?

He replied:

The man is not obliged to tell the woman or her family that he is married if they do not ask him, but that cannot usually be hidden because marriage is not usually done except after a period of enquiring and asking about each of the two partners and verifying that they are suitable. But it is not permissible to conceal any facts, and if either party tells a lie and the other party acts on the basis of it, then there is the option of cancelling it. If he says that he is not married and is lying about that, then the woman has the option of annulling the marriage. If they say that she was a virgin when she is not, then he has the option of going ahead with the marriage or cancelling it.

Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/129.

IslamQ&A

The Marriage Contract: Its Basic Elements

By Bilal Abu Aisha

All praise is due to Allah, the Creator of our world and the laws that govern it. And Peace and blessings of Allah be upon His slave and final Messenger Muhammad (saws), the one sent to all of mankind, the one sent to guide people out from the darkness of shirk (polytheism), into the light of Tawheed (montheism).

Know dear reader that Allah (swt) has created things in pairs. Those pairs must get together in certain ways in order for reproduction to occur. The way for reproduction to occur amongst humans – males and females, is through marriage, known in Arabic as nikaah. Islam urges Muslims to marry, and prohibits pre-marital relationships. Allah Most High says in the Qur’an: “Marry the unmarried among you…”1 Also, Allah’s Messenger (saws) in the hadith found in Bukhari and Muslim, commanded young people to marry, and advised those of them who could not afford it to fast as a means of controlling their sexual desire. From an Islamic perspective, marriage is not viewed merely as a means of satisfying natural desires and passions. Its goals are much deeper than just obtaining legal sex. Allah (swt) points out one of the main objectives behind marriage by saying: “And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you might live with tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts (hearts)…”2

Therefore, the phenomenon of bachelorship or celibacy are UN-Islamic practices that result in devastation, effecting the Muslim community, and posing a threat to the Islamic world. What devastation? What threat on the Islamic world? The answers to these questions are found in the non-Muslim communities. Every day we hear and observe with our very eyes the perverted and sinful ways of the Kuffaar (disbelievers). These ways which they find acceptable in their societies have ultimately led to many types of diseases such as A.I.D.S, syphilis and the like, as a result of their choice to follow the unnatural way of abstaining from marriage.

The marriage contract is the formal bond that turns two individuals from strangers to husband and wife. It is the most important contract that most people execute throughout their lives. Since the marriage contract has such great significance, the deen of Islam imposes a number of guidelines that it must fulfill. Many Muslims who are engaged in pre-marital relationships hold back from having the contract executed due to their ignorance about its elements. So they continue to live a sinful lifestyle due to cultural influences which lead them thinking the process is too demanding. Before delving into the basic elements of marriage, it worth mentioning here that marriage is a serious matter and should be dealt with seriously. It is not allowed for a man to marry and then claim he did not really mean it, or that he was joking. The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: “There are three matters in which it is not permissible to joke: marriage, divorce, and emancipation (of slaves).”3

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Something For The Married Sisters!

http://www.weneedtounite.com

Enjoyed Al Hubb al ‘Udree [Noble Love]? Then this will surely be enlightening for everyone – married or not, the beneficial insight will only increase and sustain LOVE between lovers in Islam. The information is valuable for all whether married or not so do pass it on to everyone you know.

Insha’Allah through the naseeha we will alll attain Al Hubb al ‘Udree [Noble Love]

For The Woman:

Your husband’s Love Tank ran dry, the engine broke down, and now your marriage is stuck in a ditch by the side of the road? No need to worry! Just sit back and have a nice cup of TEA while you call up Triple A to pull your marriage out of the rut.

TEA Triple A – roadside assistance for understanding the 6 primary love needs of men.

T – Trust
E – Encouragement
A – Admiration

A – Approval
A – Appreciation
A – Acceptance

Trust – When the wife’s attitude is open and receptive toward her husband, he feels *trusted*. To trust a man is to believe that he is doing his best and that he wants the best for his wife. This positive belief should be reflected by the wife’s interactions with her husband.

Example: The husband is trying to fix the kitchen sink. As he struggles with the wrench, the wife looks on and says, “Maybe you should call a plumber…” The husband feels crushed because he thinks she doesn’t trust him to do what’s best for them. Instead, the wife should refrain from giving unsolicited advice (except Islamic advice, of course).

Encouragement – When the wife expresses confidence in her husband’s abilities and character, it fills him with hope and courage and he feels *encouraged*.

Example: When the Prophet (salla Allahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) received the first revelation from Allah, he was terrified and sought comfort with his wife Khadija. He said, “I fear that something may happen to me.” Khadija replied, “Never! But have the glad tidings, for by Allah, Allah will never disgrace you as you keep good relations with your kith and kin, speak the truth, help the poor and the destitute, serve your guest generously and assist the deserving, calamity-afflicted ones.” [Sahih Al-Bukhari]

Admiration – When the wife views the husband with wonder, delight, and pleased approval, the husband feels *admired*. Telling him what to do as if he were a child does not make him feel admired. Admiration is when the wife is happily amazed by his unique characteristics or talents like humor, strength, persistence, integrity, honesty, romance, kindness, love, understanding, etc.

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