Tag Archive | before

Advice Of ‘Abdullaah Ibn Ja’far To His Daughter Before Her Marriage

‘Abdullaah Ibn Ja’far (may Allah have mercy on him) addressed his daughter saying:

(1) Avoid jealousy, as it is the key to your divorce;

(2) Avoid complaint, as it instigates anger;

(3) Adorn yourself for him, and make sure you wash away any bad odours by frequent bathing.

Women Are Of Four Types – 20 Pieces Of Advice To My Sister Before Marriage

Ibn Hibban narrated in his work Nazahti Al-Fadlaa the advice of Al-Khattaab bin Mu’laa Al-Makhzoomee to his son. At the end of his words he mentioned the following: “Know that women vary more than the fingers of your hand. So be cautious in dealing with them.

Every Evil Women will inevitably harm you:

The First Type:

– The woman who is amazed with herself and belittles her husband (27).
– If he honors her she sees it not except as a result of her virtue over him (28).
– She shows no gratitude for his courtesy. In her eyes he always falls short.
– She lashes her tongue out at him like a sharp sword.
– Her imprudence has removed the cover of shyness from her face: she is not shy from exposing her faults even when in front of the neighbors (29).
– She is like a growling dog with rabies, barking and biting.
 Her husband’s face is sad (30), and his honor is violated with the people.
 She over burdens him with her bad etiquettes and does not tend to his worldly or religious affairs.
 Nor does she uphold her duties towards him in spite of his companionship and the many children they may share;
 She doesn’t recognize any good that he does.
 His covering is revealed and made public. All the good that he does is buried (31).
 He reaches the morning dispirited and enters the evening reprimanding her (32).
 His drink is sour. His food is rage. His children are wasted and his house is destroyed (33).
 His clothes is filthy and hair dishevel. If he laughs he is worn down (34), and if he speaks he feels sickened. His day is night; his night is misery (35).
 She bites him like a vicious snake, and stings like a scorpion.

The Second Type:

 From amongst them are: The Shafsha’leeq (The relaxed and lazy woman), Sha’sha (The tall woman), Salfa’a (The blatantly ill-mannered woman), possessor of saturated poison (36), a spark of light yet worn out, she moves with the wind and flies with everyone who has wings (37).
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Women Are Of Four Types – 20 Pieces Of Advice To My Sister Before Marriage

Women Are Of Four Types – 20 Pieces Of Advice To My Sister Before Marriage

Ibn Hibban narrated in his work Nazahti Al-Fadlaa the advice of Al-Khattaab bin Mu’laa Al-Makhzoomee to his son. At the end of his words he mentioned the following: “Know that women vary more than the fingers of your hand. So be cautious in dealing with them.

Every Evil Women will inevitably harm you:

The First Type:

The woman who is amazed with herself and belittles her husband (27).
If he honors her she sees it not except as a result of her virtue over him (28).
She shows no gratitude for his courtesy. In her eyes he always falls short.
She lashes her tongue out at him like a sharp sword.
Her imprudence has removed the cover of shyness from her face: she is not shy from exposing her faults even when in front of the neighbors (29).
She is like a growling dog with rabies, barking and biting.
Her husband’s face is sad (30), and his honor is violated with the people.
She over burdens him with her bad etiquettes and does not tend to his worldly or religious affairs.
Nor does she uphold her duties towards him in spite of his companionship and the many children they may share;
She doesn’t recognize any good that he does.
His covering is revealed and made public. All the good that he does is buried (31).
He reaches the morning dispirited and enters the evening reprimanding her (32).
His drink is sour. His food is rage. His children are wasted and his house is destroyed (33).
His clothes is filthy and hair dishevel. If he laughs he is worn down (34), and if he speaks he feels sickened. His day is night; his night is misery (35).
She bites him like a vicious snake, and stings like a scorpion.

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A Mother’s Advice To Her Daughter For Marriage

‘Abd al-Malik (RA) said: “When ‘Awf ibn Muhallim al-Shaybani, one of the most highly respected leaders of the Arab nobility during the jahiliyyah, married his daughter Umm Iyas to al-Harith ibn ‘Amr al-Kindi, she was made ready to be taken to the groom, then her mother, Umamah came into her, to advise her and said:

‘O my daughter, if it were deemed unnecessary to give you this advice because of good manners and noble descent, then it would have been unnecessary for you, because you posses these qualities, but it will serve as a reminder to those who are forgetful, and will help those who are wise.

‘O my daughter, if a woman were able to do without a husband by virtue of her father’s wealth and her need for her father, then you of all people would be most able to do without a husband, but women were created for men just as men were created for them.

‘O my daughter, you are about to leave the home in which you grew up, where you first learned to walk, to go to a place you do not know, to a companion to whom you are unfamiliar. By marrying you, he has become a master over you, so be like a servant to him, and he will become like a servant to you.

‘Take from me ten qualities, which will be a provision and a reminder for you.

The first and second of them are: be content in his company, and listen to and obey him, for contentment brings peace of mind, and listening to and obeying one’s husband pleases Allah.

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