Tag Archive | anger

Advice Of ‘Abdullaah Ibn Ja’far To His Daughter Before Her Marriage

‘Abdullaah Ibn Ja’far (may Allah have mercy on him) addressed his daughter saying:

(1) Avoid jealousy, as it is the key to your divorce;

(2) Avoid complaint, as it instigates anger;

(3) Adorn yourself for him, and make sure you wash away any bad odours by frequent bathing.

The Damage Has Already Been Done – Story Of A Bad Tempered Boy

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally, the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper!

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say “I’m sorry”, the wound is still there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.

{{MashaaAllaah I had to put this on. Like I always say, a simple “Sorry” doesn’t really mean much, one needs to show that he or she is sorry for his past actions.}}

Two Husbands In The House

Two Husbands In The House

Many women -because of feminism – don’t obey their husbands – which is sinful.

Some practising sisters – they are not realising that they should obey their husbands. Allah’s Messenger said [meaning];

«لَوْ كُنْتُ آمِرًا أَحَدًا أَنْ يَسْجُدَ لِأَحَدٍ، لَأَمَرْتُ الْمَرْأَةَ أَنْ تَسْجُدَ لِزَوْجِهَا، مِنْ عِظَمِ حَقِّهِ عَلَيْهَا»

“If I were to command anyone to prostrate before anyone, I would have commanded the wife to prostrate before her husband, because of the enormity of his right upon her.”
There are so many other ahadeeth on the rights of the husband from the wife.

A [non muslim] Noble Prize winner said;

The Economical and Social crisis within the western world is due to the both husbands not playing the role they should play.

Meaning: the husband should provide for the family, and the woman should help the husband in the home to raise the children and the household.

He said; the husband should play his major role, and the wife should play her major role in the house and provide for the children etc. Once each party plays their role, a complimentary relationship will form. The husband is the provider for the house, and the wife uses this provision to grow the fruits (i.e. children).

A Wife as a Companion

It is the nature of the man; when he comes back home from work, he is tired and frustrated – and he wants to see his wife looking at him, smiling and caring for him and giving him attention. If he comes home from work and sees his wife on the phone, or the internet, or her attention isn’t on him in a good way – he will feel frustrated. He will feel that his wife is not for him, and due to this – problems start. Even a small thing will become a major thing because he will be ready to argue due to his previous frustration.

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Advice To Women Regarding Marriage: The Wife’s Role In Her Home

Advice To Women Regarding Marriage: The Wife’s Role In Her Home

This is to serve her husband, bear, nurse, and nurture his children, and be a housewife.

If a woman is used to being immersed in the study and propagation of Islaam, and then marries whilst not clearly having in mind a role as a wife, she may begin feeling, very shortly after marriage, that her new role as a wife is a trivial one. This may cause her to begin leaving her house to resume her former lifestyle. It is vital, however, that she understand her role and obligation as a wife and the reward of fulfilling them. Anas (may Allah be pleased with him) reported that the Prophet (sallallahu `alayhi wa sallam) said: “If a woman prays her five daily prayers, fasts her month (i.e. the month of Ramadhaan), guards her private parts and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise from any of its gates that she wishes.” [Abu Nu’aym]

The married woman must persevere through the hardships of pregnancy, pre-delivery contractions and the agony of the delivery itself. Some women refuse to go through such hardships and take birth control pills to prevent pregnancy, or, if they do get pregnant, prefer a caesarean section over a normal delivery.

‘Amr Ibn Hijr (may Allah have mercy on him) married Kindah Bint ‘Awf Ash-Shaybaani (may Allah have mercy on him). On her wedding night, her mother, Umaamah Bint Al-Haarith (may Allah be pleased with her) took her aside and advised her:

Dear daughter! You are leaving the environment which you are accustomed to and departing from the place you grew up in to a partner whom you are unfamiliar with. If a woman had no need of a husband due to her parents sufficing her, then you would be the last person to require a husband, but women were created to be the partners of men, and men were created to be the partners of women. Act like his slave, and he will become like your slave. Uphold the following ten matters and you will find them to be provisions:

– The first and second are to be content with what he provides and to listen to and obey him.

– The third and the fourth are to make sure that all he sees and smells from you are pleasing to him, so he should not see you in a displeasing appearance, nor smell anything but a fine fragrance from you.

– The fifth and the sixth are to comfort him in his sleep and food, because repeated hunger and lack of sleep will enflame his anger.

– The seventh and the eighth are to protect his wealth and take care of his children; the focal point regarding wealth is to have good judgement in spending it, and that regarding the children is to properly nurture them.

– The ninth and the tenth are to not disobey his commands or disclose his secrets, because when you disobey him you intimidate him, and if you disclose his secrets you would not know what he may do to you. Do not be joyful in front of him when he is upset, or express sadness if he is happy.”

‘Abdullaah Ibn Ja’far (may Allah have mercy on him) addressed his daughter saying:

“- Avoid jealousy, as it is the key to your divorce;

– avoid complaint, as it instigates anger;

– adorn yourself for him, and make sure you wash away any bad odours by frequent bathing.

Source

Conditional Divorce And Divorce In A State Of Extreme Anger

Question:

What is the ruling on one who swears that his wife will be divorced if she does something such as severing the ties of kinship, and the husband is in a state of extreme anger at that point, and he is not in control of himself, to such an extent that he does not remember what he said?.

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

Firstly:

A man should not use divorce every time there is an argument between him and his wife, because of the negative consequences that result from divorce. Many men take the matter of divorce lightly and every time there is an argument between them and their wives, they swear to divorce them, and every time they have a disagreement with their friends, they swear to divorce their wives, and so on. This is a kind of toying with the Book of Allaah, because the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) regarded the one who divorced his wife three times in one go as toying with the Book of Allaah. So how about one who makes divorce his habit, and every time he wants to stop his wife doing something or urge her to do something he swears that he will divorce her?

Al-Nasaa’i narrated that Mahmoud ibn Labeed said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was told about a man who divorced his wife three times in one go. He got up angrily and said: “Will the Book of Allaah be toyed with when I am still among you?” A man stood up and said: “O Messenger of Allaah, shall I kill him?

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