Tag Archive | tips

22 Tips For Parents

What does it take for parents to get a teen to become a practicing Muslim?

Sound Vision has talked to parents, Imams, activists and Muslims who have grown up in the West to ask what are some practical things parents can do to help Muslim teens maintain their Deen. These are some of their suggestions:

Tip #1: Take parenting more seriously than you would a full-time job

This means both parents must understand their children are a trust from Allah, and He will ask how they were raised. If the children do not grow up practicing Islam because of their parents’ negligence, it is not going to be pretty in this life or the next.

Tip #2:Reduce or change work hours and exchange them for time with the family

It is better to have one full-time job, fewer luxuries in the house (i.e. more cars, expensive clothes, a bigger, fancier home) and more time with the family, than many material things and absent parents. This goes for mothers AND fathers. Parents can’t instill values in their children if they just aren’t there, period. Quit that extra job on the weekends or in the evenings and instead drive the kids to the mosque for Halaqas and activities instead. Or consider switching shifts at work so that you’re home when the kids are.

Tip #3: Read the Quran, understanding its meaning, for five minutes every day

Just five minutes. Whether it’s in the car during a traffic jam, early morning after Fajr, or right before you go to bed, read the Quran with a translation and/or Tafseer. Then watch the snowball effect. You will, Insha Allah, reconnect with Allah, and in the long run, develop into a role model helping your whole family, not just your teen, reconnect with Him too.

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Something For The Married Sisters!

http://www.weneedtounite.com

Enjoyed Al Hubb al ‘Udree [Noble Love]? Then this will surely be enlightening for everyone – married or not, the beneficial insight will only increase and sustain LOVE between lovers in Islam. The information is valuable for all whether married or not so do pass it on to everyone you know.

Insha’Allah through the naseeha we will alll attain Al Hubb al ‘Udree [Noble Love]

For The Woman:

Your husband’s Love Tank ran dry, the engine broke down, and now your marriage is stuck in a ditch by the side of the road? No need to worry! Just sit back and have a nice cup of TEA while you call up Triple A to pull your marriage out of the rut.

TEA Triple A – roadside assistance for understanding the 6 primary love needs of men.

T – Trust
E – Encouragement
A – Admiration

A – Approval
A – Appreciation
A – Acceptance

Trust – When the wife’s attitude is open and receptive toward her husband, he feels *trusted*. To trust a man is to believe that he is doing his best and that he wants the best for his wife. This positive belief should be reflected by the wife’s interactions with her husband.

Example: The husband is trying to fix the kitchen sink. As he struggles with the wrench, the wife looks on and says, “Maybe you should call a plumber…” The husband feels crushed because he thinks she doesn’t trust him to do what’s best for them. Instead, the wife should refrain from giving unsolicited advice (except Islamic advice, of course).

Encouragement – When the wife expresses confidence in her husband’s abilities and character, it fills him with hope and courage and he feels *encouraged*.

Example: When the Prophet (salla Allahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) received the first revelation from Allah, he was terrified and sought comfort with his wife Khadija. He said, “I fear that something may happen to me.” Khadija replied, “Never! But have the glad tidings, for by Allah, Allah will never disgrace you as you keep good relations with your kith and kin, speak the truth, help the poor and the destitute, serve your guest generously and assist the deserving, calamity-afflicted ones.” [Sahih Al-Bukhari]

Admiration – When the wife views the husband with wonder, delight, and pleased approval, the husband feels *admired*. Telling him what to do as if he were a child does not make him feel admired. Admiration is when the wife is happily amazed by his unique characteristics or talents like humor, strength, persistence, integrity, honesty, romance, kindness, love, understanding, etc.

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How to Help Muslims Get Married: Tips For Parents And Imams

By Sound Vision Staff Writer

Sad but shocking reality: the divorce rate amongst Muslims in North America is one of the highest in the world.

According to New York-based Muslim sociologist Ilyas Ba-Yunus, Muslims in Canada and the U.S. have a divorce rate of 33 percent.

The world’s highest is the general U.S. population’s of 48.6 percent, followed by the United Kingdom’s of 36 percent.

Many assume divorce means problems began in the course of the marriage, whether it was communication breakdown or irreconcilable differences.

But there are many difficulties that lead to divorce which could have been avoided right from the beginning. This could have happened if individuals, parents, guardians and Imams had played their role right when communication between two Muslims seeking marriage began.

Below, we give you some tips and advice of what you can do:

HOW PARENTS CAN HELP:

The older woman noticed her instantly.

The twenty-something girl was an American Muslima, her white skin and Caucasian features bore testimony to that. She was perfect for her dear son Muhsin.

As she walked closer to her, she noticed the young woman talking to someone of a darker complexion.

The woman rushed up.

“Assalamu alaykum,” she said smiling at the American Muslima.

“Wa alaykum as Salaam,” replied the sister and her friend in unison, both a bit startled by the enthusiasm and ardor with which they were being greeted.

“I would like you to marry my son,” said the woman barely inches away from the American Muslima, and making no eye contact at all with her friend.

“But, but why,” she stammered.

“Because you are white and you are wearing a Jelbab. You will make a perfect wife for my Muhsin!”

(This is based on a true story, in which the ethnicity of two of the people involved has been changed

*******

While some would be surprised at the candor and bluntness of the older woman in the above-mentioned scenario, such scenes are not uncommon. Many parents seem to think approaching a prospect out of the blue will “reserve” this person for their son/daughter.

If you as a parent want to play an effective role in helping your children seek the right mate, things have to be done differently.

1.Understand your role

Your role as a mother or father is not to be the final arbiter of your child’s marriage. This may be how marriages were arranged “back home” in a Muslim country, but it is not the Islamic way. Nor is this way acceptable to most Muslims who have grown up in the West.

That said, the parents have a tremendous responsibility in the process. They:

a. suggest individuals as prospective spouses
b. thoroughly screen and check proposals, call references
c. act as the third party between the two candidates

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