‘Umar Ibn Al-Khattaab (ra) encouraged the people to perform marriages with different tribes, so that love would develop amongst the people. Therefore, a slave went to a man from the Quraysh and asked him to marry his sister to him, which the latter refused.
‘Umar went to that man and asked him, “Why did you not marry your sister to him? He is a talented and pious individual. You should seek the opinion of your sister; if she accepts the proposal then you should marry her to him.”
The man from the Quraysh accepted the advice of ‘Umar and went to his sister to ask her opinion. She agreed to the marriage and the married his sister to the slave.
Shaykh Abdullah Al-Mutlaq Makes Du’aa For A Woman Who Needs A Husband
In question answer program, a woman called Sheikh Abdullah Almutlaq and asked him a question. And after he gave her the answer, she asked him to pray to Allah that she is bless with Sheikh Mohammad Al-Arifi as her husband. Sheikh Almutlaq replied to her saying do you want Sheikh Alarifi for his good looks or knowledge? She answered for his knowledge. Sheikh Almutlaq replied to her that Sheikh Saleh Alsadlan was more knowledgeable than him, I will pray to Allah that you be blessed with him as a husband.
‘Umar Ibn Al-Khattaab was very protective of the Prophet’s wives. They were all very innocent and pious and yet, as ‘Umar certainly remembered, that did not stop the hypocrite ‘Abdullaah Ibn Ubay from slandering ‘Aa’ishah. Thus, ‘Umar would do everything in his power to safeguard the honour of the Prophet’s wives.
So when the Prophet’s wives asked ‘Umar to perform Hajj, he denied their request. Then, when they continued to implore him for permission, he met them halfway, saying to them: “I will grant you permission to go the following year, and yet even that is something I do not truly agree with.”
The following year,’Umar sent ‘Uthmaan Ibn ‘Affaan and ‘Abdur-Rahmaan Ibn ‘Awf to accompany the Mothers of the believers during their pilgrimage. And ‘Umar gave both of them strict orders; one of them was to walk ahead of the Prophet’s wives, and the other was to walk behind them. They were not to allow anyone to walk alongside the Prophet’s wives. When they had to stop to set up camp, they were to set up camp in a mountain pass (an enclosed area); as long as the Prophet’s wives rested inside the mountain pass, they were to stand guard at the entrance of the mountain pass; they were to allow no one to enter upon the Prophet’s wives.
And when the Prophet’s wives performed Tawaaf around the Ka’bah, they were to forbid all men from performing Tawaaf at the same time.
A woman first and foremost needs to be righteous herself, so that she can be a good example for her daughters…
A woman should train her children properly, for her children represent the men and women of the future. In the earliest stages of their development, it is the mothers that human beings learn from. If she is a good mother, good in her manners and dealings and good in the way she brings up her children, then those children will take after her and contribute positively to the betterment of society.
Every mother, then, must dedicate herself to training her children, and if she cannot undertake their training on her own, then their father or another guardian – for example, a brother or uncle, if their father is dead – should help her to raise them.
A woman should not yield to difficult circumstances, feeling that she cannot change her situation or her family’s situation for the better.
[The Islaamic Awakening, by Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, Pp. 223 & 229]
If you were to ponder you would realise that the reward for good (i.e you obeying your husband) is nothing but good (i.e, he will in return treat you good). So your obedience towards your husband leads to him being obedient to you in those things that you seek from him, because indeed a pure soul is accustomed to responding to good with good…
So it is incumbent upon you to obey your husband in al-ma’roof. And that which is apparent from the meaning of obedience is to act upon a command and to abstain from a prohibition. You should become as close to him as possible, by seeking to satisfy his wants and needs at all times.
Don’t wait for him to give you a command or to prohibit you from something.
Rather reflect on your days spent with him and on the things he loves and hates, and be quick to carry these things out. Let your actions precede his command and prohibition. For indeed this is a sign of your cleverness and dignity that you hasten towards good before he even commands it of you.
In addition to that, this obedience is something you have to be committed to and firm upon at all times. So if he were to command you with one thing or prohibit you from another thing, then do not wait for him to command you with the same thing each and every time. It is looked down upon by men of intellect that a man has to constantly reprimand his wife saying, do this and don’t do that.
If you know from your husband’s personality that he likes or dislikes a thing, don’t wait for him to command you and prohibit you, because this is from the things that lead to a husband becoming bored with his wife.
[Taken from “20 Pieces Of Advice To My Sister Before Her Marriage”, p. 26-27]
“Raabi’a Al-’Adwiyyah used to pray the whole night, and when dawn came she lay down for a bit and then got up frightened, saying to herself, ‘Sleep in the grave is long.’ ” [“Sincere Counsel To Students Of Sacred Knowledge” by Ibn Al-Jawzee, p.53]
Adh-Dhahabee related by way of Ibn Abee Dunyaa: ‘Abda Bint Abee Shawwaal, who used to serve Raabi’a Al-’Adwiyyah said:
“Raabi’a Al-’Adwiyyah used to pray the whole night. When morning would come she would lay down till the sky would turn yellow. I used to hear her say, ‘My soul, how much do you sleep and till what time do you stand up? You might sleep for just a little and never get up until the day of Resurrection.’ “
Raabi’a Al-’Adwiyyah was a ascetic, God fearing worshipper from Basra. She is said to have lived for 80 years and died in 180H.
Ibn Al-Jawzee said:
“Raabi’a Al-’Adwiyyah the worshipper used to get up to pray in the beginning of the night and say:
‘The lover has stood up for her hope,
And her heart is about to fly away from joy.’
When the night was over she would say: “No! It has been taken away!” and she would recite:
‘The darkness is gone with its intimacy and concord,
If only the night and its intimacy would come again.’ “
“Aboo Sa’eed Ibn Al-Arabee said, ‘As for Raabi’a Al-’Adwiyyah, a people have learned much wisdom from her. Sufyaan, Shu’ba and others have related things about her.’ “ [Siyar A’laam An-Nubulaa, 1/232]
Another reason for the youth’s problems is the reading of dangerous literature like treatises, newspapers, magazines and other material which cast doubt in the person concerning his religion and belief. These reading materials lead him to Hell and degenerate his virtuous manners.
This literature causes him to fall into Kufr and evil if he doesn’t have a strong defense of profound Islaamic education and acuteness, in order for him to be able to distinguish between the truth and falsehood or that which is beneficial from that which is harmful.
The reading of literature like this turns the teenager completely upside-down. This is due to the fact, which they come across fertile ground in the minds and thoughts of the youth without hindrance.
Accordingly, these dangerous ideas are deeply rooted and are reflected in the individuals’s mind and life.
[Taken from “Mushkilaat Ash-Shabaab”, Pp. 32-33, by Ibn ‘Uthaymeen]