A woman first and foremost needs to be righteous herself, so that she can be a good example for her daughters…
A woman should train her children properly, for her children represent the men and women of the future. In the earliest stages of their development, it is the mothers that human beings learn from. If she is a good mother, good in her manners and dealings and good in the way she brings up her children, then those children will take after her and contribute positively to the betterment of society.
Every mother, then, must dedicate herself to training her children, and if she cannot undertake their training on her own, then their father or another guardian – for example, a brother or uncle, if their father is dead – should help her to raise them.
A woman should not yield to difficult circumstances, feeling that she cannot change her situation or her family’s situation for the better.
[The Islaamic Awakening, by Ibn ‘Uthaymeen, Pp. 223 & 229]
If you were to ponder you would realise that the reward for good (i.e you obeying your husband) is nothing but good (i.e, he will in return treat you good). So your obedience towards your husband leads to him being obedient to you in those things that you seek from him, because indeed a pure soul is accustomed to responding to good with good…
So it is incumbent upon you to obey your husband in al-ma’roof. And that which is apparent from the meaning of obedience is to act upon a command and to abstain from a prohibition. You should become as close to him as possible, by seeking to satisfy his wants and needs at all times.
Don’t wait for him to give you a command or to prohibit you from something.
Rather reflect on your days spent with him and on the things he loves and hates, and be quick to carry these things out. Let your actions precede his command and prohibition. For indeed this is a sign of your cleverness and dignity that you hasten towards good before he even commands it of you.
In addition to that, this obedience is something you have to be committed to and firm upon at all times. So if he were to command you with one thing or prohibit you from another thing, then do not wait for him to command you with the same thing each and every time. It is looked down upon by men of intellect that a man has to constantly reprimand his wife saying, do this and don’t do that.
If you know from your husband’s personality that he likes or dislikes a thing, don’t wait for him to command you and prohibit you, because this is from the things that lead to a husband becoming bored with his wife.
[Taken from “20 Pieces Of Advice To My Sister Before Her Marriage”, p. 26-27]
“Raabi’a Al-’Adwiyyah used to pray the whole night, and when dawn came she lay down for a bit and then got up frightened, saying to herself, ‘Sleep in the grave is long.’ ” [“Sincere Counsel To Students Of Sacred Knowledge” by Ibn Al-Jawzee, p.53]
Adh-Dhahabee related by way of Ibn Abee Dunyaa: ‘Abda Bint Abee Shawwaal, who used to serve Raabi’a Al-’Adwiyyah said:
“Raabi’a Al-’Adwiyyah used to pray the whole night. When morning would come she would lay down till the sky would turn yellow. I used to hear her say, ‘My soul, how much do you sleep and till what time do you stand up? You might sleep for just a little and never get up until the day of Resurrection.’ “
Raabi’a Al-’Adwiyyah was a ascetic, God fearing worshipper from Basra. She is said to have lived for 80 years and died in 180H.
Ibn Al-Jawzee said:
“Raabi’a Al-’Adwiyyah the worshipper used to get up to pray in the beginning of the night and say:
‘The lover has stood up for her hope,
And her heart is about to fly away from joy.’
When the night was over she would say: “No! It has been taken away!” and she would recite:
‘The darkness is gone with its intimacy and concord,
If only the night and its intimacy would come again.’ “
“Aboo Sa’eed Ibn Al-Arabee said, ‘As for Raabi’a Al-’Adwiyyah, a people have learned much wisdom from her. Sufyaan, Shu’ba and others have related things about her.’ “ [Siyar A’laam An-Nubulaa, 1/232]
Another reason for the youth’s problems is the reading of dangerous literature like treatises, newspapers, magazines and other material which cast doubt in the person concerning his religion and belief. These reading materials lead him to Hell and degenerate his virtuous manners.
This literature causes him to fall into Kufr and evil if he doesn’t have a strong defense of profound Islaamic education and acuteness, in order for him to be able to distinguish between the truth and falsehood or that which is beneficial from that which is harmful.
The reading of literature like this turns the teenager completely upside-down. This is due to the fact, which they come across fertile ground in the minds and thoughts of the youth without hindrance.
Accordingly, these dangerous ideas are deeply rooted and are reflected in the individuals’s mind and life.
[Taken from “Mushkilaat Ash-Shabaab”, Pp. 32-33, by Ibn ‘Uthaymeen]
“His statement “their women” refers to the Muslim women (1). The polytheist women, such as the disbelievers and their types are exempt from this. It is not permissible for a believing woman to uncover any part of her body in the presence of a disbelieving woman, unless she is her slave/servant.
Some scholars considered it detestable for a Muslim woman to host a Christian woman or have her ‘awrah looked at by her.
‘Umar Ibn Al-Khattaab once wrote a letter to Aboo ‘Ubaydah Ibn Al-Jarraah saying:
‘It has reached me that the Muslim women enter the public wash areas along with the disbelieving women. So prevent this and do not allow it, for indeed it is not permissible for a disbelieving woman to see a Muslim woman uncovered.’
So Aboo ‘Ubaydah stood up at that and called out saying:
‘Whichever woman enters the public bath areas without an excuse, not wanting except to purify her face, then may Allaah darken her face on the day when the faces will be whitened (purified).’ “
[Tafseer Al-Qurtubee, 12/233]
(1) This is based on the saying of Allaah: “…And (tell them) not to reveal their zeenah (adornment) except to their husbands, their fathers… their women…” [Soorah Noor: 30-31]
“Then do not be soft in speech, lest he in whose heart there is a disease (of fornication) should be moved with desire. But rather speak in an honorable manner. And stay in your houses and do not openly display yourselves like that of the days of ignorance.” [Ahzaab: 32-33]
Shaykh Bin Baaz comments:
“In this ayah, Allaah forbids the wives of the noble Prophet, the Mothers of the Believers – who are from amongst the best and purest of women – from speaking softly to men, which means making the voice sound gentle and pleasant…
Allaah further commands the women to stay in their homes and forbids them from indecently exposing themselves as the women would do in the days of ignorance (jaahiliyyah)…
This is because of what is found in that form great mischief, overwhelming temptation and an incitement of male hearts towards embarking on the means of fornication.
So if it is the case that Allaah warned the Mothers of the Believers from these evil things, in spite of their uprightness, strong faith and pure nature, then this means that all women besides them take more precedence in this matter.
They are more deserving of being warned and forbidden, and they have more right that we fear for them the causes of fitnah.”
[Taken from “Four Essays On The Obligation Of Veiling”. Chapter: “The Dangers Of Tabarruj (Immoral Exposure)”, by Shaykh Bin Baaz, Pp. 11-12]