Tag Archive | men

Women Being Lax In Their Hijaab Of The Speech

Shaykh Saalih Al-Fawzaan:

“It is upon the woman who fears Allaah and the hereafter to stay away from what many of the women are doing today such as being lackadaisical with the hijaab and easy-going with wearing decorative garments when going outside and being lax with using perfume when going out of the house and intermingling with men and joking with them.

Allaah, the Most High, said to His Prophet’s wives:

Then do not be soft in speech, lest he in whose heart there is a disease (of fornication) should be moved with desire. But rather speak in an honorable manner.” [Ahzaab: 32]

If a woman has a need to speak to a man that is not one of her mahaarim, she may speak to him, but with a casual tone that has no softness or gentleness in it, and not in a joking or laughing manner.

Rather her speech must be ordinary and in accordance with what necessity dictates – i.e. a question and an answer – as per the need only.

She must not speak in a tone that appears friendly, laughing or teasing, or in a mellow or beautiful voice, thus stirring the desire of the one who has a disease in his heart. This is based on Allaah’s saying:

But rather speak in an honorable manner.” [Ahzaab: 32]

So the Muslim women of today must fear Allaah with respect to themselves and their societies.”

[Taken from “Four Essays On The Obligation Of Veiling”. Chapter: “Advice To Muslim Women” by Shaykh Saalih Al-Fawzaan, p. 72]

The Cause Of Bad Temper From The Husbands. What Is The Solution?

How To Get Your husband To Work For You!

It seems Ahmad could never do anything right. When ‘Aaishah asked him to fold the laundry, Ahmad was eager to help out. But rather than praise Ahmad’s contribution, ‘Aaishah criticized his methods: “Why must you bring the clean clothes all the way across the house and dump them on the couch?” she asked.

Ahmad turned on the television. “So I can watch something while I fold clothes,” he said.

‘Aaishah folded her arms and fumed. “I would have been done by now.”

**************

It started with the laundry, but it ended with Ahmad and ‘Aaishah’s breakup.

‘Aaishah had no idea that her statement, uttered in frustration after a long wait in line at the bank and a flat tire that day, could be so detrimental to their relationship.

Ahmad loved ‘Aaishah with all his heart, but when ‘Aaishah criticized his method of folding laundry, she inadvertently called him a failure.

After the laundry incident,Ahmad shied away from helping ‘Aaishah with the chores, which led her to the false conclusion that he was lazy.

She began to search for occasions to prove her theory true, complaining about underwear in the bathroom or an empty glass in the living room.

Finally, Ahmad was convinced that he would never be good enough for ‘Aaishah. Rather than suffer further blows to his self-esteem, he ended the relationship.

Every day women perform great feats of strength, juggling the roles of employee, wife, caretaker and lover.

Continue reading

Men Are Thieves On Guard

By Umm Hanifa

My dear daughters in Islam,

Assalamu alaikum,

I wanted to write this article because it is important that you know the nature of men to both protect yourself and gain your husband’s love.

Allah knows best the nature of men and women and thus, He (swt) has instilled some rules to follow. Islam is a wonderful religion because it gives its right to every creature on Earth and of course to all men, women and children.

The children are the weakest of the three and Allah – with His infinite Mercy, has given them rights (and duties) but this is not the scope of this article.

Women are also weaker than men and this is not to mean that women are less important or less intelligent or less capable, it just means there are certain things that women are not as strong as men and one of such things is dealing with emotions or some aspects of our physical abilities.

Thus, women are a trust in men’s hands. Yet, Allah (swt) knows the nature of men and that there is a sexual weakness in the hearts of many of them that Allah (swt) has taught us how to protect ourselves from them!

When you go out, you always make sure that your house’s door is closed and so are the windows. This preventive measures are to avoid letting thieves in.

Many times you have heard ‘Do not invite thieves by leaving your window open’ of if you are going to park your car on the street ‘Do not encourage thieves by leaving your valuables insight in your car’ as this will most certainly attract thieves to your car, and the outcome of that is always not something you wish to deal with as it involves a loss in property and a loss in wealth and a shake to your emotions and nerves.

Continue reading

The Communication Between Men & Women Over the Internet

The Communication Between Men & Women Over the Internet

Compiled by: Abu Ziead al-Athary

Assalamu alaykum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakatuhu

The noble Shaykh Ubayd al-Jabari ý may Allaah protect him- repeats his warning against communication, with mobile phones or over the internet, between men and women while claiming the justification of seeking knowledge or giving Dawaý.

In an open question and answer session taking place every Sunday evening in the Paltalk room ýSalafi Duroosý, the noble Shaykh said: ýCommunicating over the telephone is an area and way in which the heart of both the speaker and communicator will become attached to the otherýs!ý
Here is a transcript of what the Shaykh commented on after an answer to a similar question:

ýI would like to bring to attention a dangerous issueý. Which many of the Muslim men and women who they ascribe themselves to knowledge fall into. I have dealt with this issue before but many of the people have refused it and that they have been obstinate and rejected the advice!!

From the news that has reached me of the danger of this issue, a person finds it embarrassing to mention itý. And this is the issue, which is individuals speaking over the phone and communicating via mobile phones.

This matter has overcome many men and women with the justification of Dawaý but this justification is not valid and it is an excuse which is corrupt. It is not hidden from every Muslim man and woman whose heart has been filled with the awe and reverential fear of Allaah, that al-Khallwaa (being alone with a member of the opposite sex with whom there is no relation) is Haraam. The meaning here is that khallwaa is being alone with strange men and women.

As for the evil effects of this, as have been relayed to me, they are more severe than al-Khallwaa (being alone with a member of the opposite sex with whom there is no relation), since al-Khallwaa in a house or in a car causes the people to look at them, as for communicating over the internet and sending and receiving messages over the phone then this is a hidden Khallwaa, which is only known to the Originator of the heavens and the earth and the noble scribes (Angels).

Indeed many women have complained that what has busied their husbands are these conversations and communication and I will mention some of their evil effects for you:

Firstly: if these communications are taking place in a chat room, for example in ýSalafi Duroosý so I say in the name of those supervising ýSalafi Duroosý ýthis type of chatting is a sin upon youý this type of chatting is a sin upon you ý I do not hold it to be permissibleý I say this because I supervise ýSalafi Duroosý so I speak with the ruling of a representative.

Secondly: Chatting like this busies one from learning knowledge, since those who isolate themselves by conversing with whatever they want from conversation, then they busy themselves away from what is transmitted by ýSalafi Duroosý and from other knowledge-based lessons and this is obstruction in the path of Allaah.

Continue reading

They Are Clothing For You And You Are Clothing For Them

Great Tafsir of one ayat in Qur’an. So many benefits arranged from one sentence of Qur’an.

Allah says: “It is made lawful for you to have sexual relations with your wives on the on the night of the fasts. They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them…” [Sûrah al-Baqarah: 187]

Allah chose to use the word “clothing” rather than any other word to describe the special relationship between a man and his wife. Allah made the man clothing for the woman and the woman clothing for the man. The word “clothing” as used in this context is rich with meaning. It would be quite difficult to express in words every subtlety that it conveys. We shall try, however, to consider a few of the ideas that this word expresses.

1. The word “clothing” in its most literal sense is what immediately covers the body with no barrier in between.

2. The word clothing connotes the idea of equality, complementarity, and support of both a psychological and physical nature. The man has his role and the woman has hers. The woman cannot be construed as merely a vehicle to fulfill the man’s desires. She is a human being, equal to the man. Each of them is as clothing to the other in every aspect of life.

3. Clothing implies adornment and beautification. Allah says: “Take your adornment to every mosque.” [Sûrah al-A`raf: 31] A man and woman are an adornment and beautification for each other.

Ibn `Abbâs said: “Indeed, I like to dress up for a woman in the same way as I like it for a woman to dress herself up for me. This is because Allah says: ‘And they have upon you similar rights to those you have upon them in good dealings.’ And I do not like to exact from her every right to which I am entitled, since Allah says: ‘and for the man there is a degree over them’.” [Tafsîr al-Tabarî (1/625)]

Some of this beauty is of a physical kind, for a person sees in the one he truly loves beauty that others do not see.

Some of this beauty is also of an intangible nature. Faithfulness and enduring friendship are a part of faith, as the Prophet (peace be upon him) said.

A woman adorns herself with her husband when she speaks about him to her friends. She can tend to embellish her account, claiming that he loves her so much, honors her so much, and gives her so much… even when the truth is far short of all that.

4. Clothing conveys the meaning of covering and concealment. Allah says: “O children of Adam! We have bestowed upon you clothing to conceal your shame and as an adornment.” [Sûrah al-A`râf: 26]

Continue reading

Reviving Our Sense Of Gheerah

By Sister Fatima Barakatullah

We live in societies in which most men and women have lost their sense of modesty, women are obsessed with their appearances and wear clothes to be seen by others and to attract the attention of other men even if they are married! They have lost their sense of shame.

Marriage is often looked upon as old-fashioned and short term affairs and frivolous relationships are the norm, everyone waiting to attract a better partner and feeling totally justified to dump one partner for another at the drop of a hat. Feminism too has reached its peak and men and women are told to suppress their natural emotions.

Men are not even embarrassed when their wives are dressed up and attract the attention of other men, they don’t mind if another man sees, chats, laughs and even dances with their womenfolk and if they do mind, they are told not to be so possessive!

In Islam we have a concept of Gheerah. Gheerah is an Arabic word which means protectiveness or jealousy. It is a good type of jealousy, like when a man feels jealous or protective over his wife or sisters and other-womenfolk and doesn’t like other men to look at them. It is a natural inbuilt feeling Allah has given men and women.

The Prophet sallallahu ‘alaihi wassalam had the most Gheerah for his wives and all of the companions were known for their Gheerah. All Muslim men should have a collective sense of protectiveness for Muslim women as Allah says in the Qur’an, the meaning of which is:

The Men are the protectors and maintainers of women…” (Surah An-Nisaa, Ayah 34).

Men who do not care about how their women behave and appear in front of other men and don’t enforce hijaab upon their wives or women-folk are called Dayyooth. Being a Dayyooth is a major sin and a detailed description of this evil characteristic can be found in adh-Dhahabee’s book of Major Sins (Kitaab ul-Kabaa’ir).

A Beautiful Story Of Gheerah

To further understand the quality of Gheerah, we can look at an incident that Asmaa’ radi allahu anha the daughter of Abu Bakr As-Siddeeq radi allahu anhu and sister of Aisha radi allahu anha relates about herself. Abu Bakr was a wealthy merchant and he married his daughter Asmaa’ to the great companion Az-Zubayr ibn al-‘Awwam radi allahu anhu who was a very poor man but a man of great piety and one of the companions who were promised Paradise. Asmaa’ relates:

When az-Zubayr married me, he had neither land nor wealth nor slave…”, so Asmaa’ had to work very hard kneading dough, going far off to get water. “And I used to carry on my head,” she continues, “the date stones from the land of az-Zubair which Allah’s Messenger sallallahu ‘alaihi wassalam had endowed him and it was a distance of two miles from Madeenah.

One day, as I was carrying the date-stones upon my head, I happened to meet Allah’s Messenger sallallahu ‘alaihi wassalam, along with a group of his Companions. He called me and told the camel to sit down so that he could make me ride behind him.

I felt shy to go with men and I remembered az-Zubair and his Gheerah and he was a man having the most Gheerah . The Messenger of Allah sallallahu ‘alaihi wassalam understood my shyness and left. I came to az-Zubair and said: “The Messenger of Allah sallallahu ‘alaihi wassalam met me as I was carrying date-stones upon my head and there was with him a group of his Companions. He told the camel to kneel so that I could mount it, but I felt shy and I remembered your Gheerah.

So Asmaa’ declined the offer made by the Prophet sallallahu ‘alaihi wassalam. Upon this az-Zubair said: “By Allah, the thought of you carrying date-stones upon your head is more severe a burden on me than you riding with him.” (related in Sahih Bukhari)

Continue reading