Tag Archive | marriages

Why Marriages Fail, By Shaykh Haitham Al-Haddaad

Why Marriages Fail

By Shaykh Haitham Al-Haddaad

Part 1: The Scale Of The Problem

Part 2: causes For Divorce

Part 3: Effects Of Pornography

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Does He Have To Tell His Second Wife That He Is Married?

Does He Have To Tell His Second Wife That He Is Married?

QUESTION: I married a foreign woman after she became Muslim in a shar‘i marriage in accordance with the laws of Allah and the Sunnah of His Messenger, and I concealed from her the fact that I was married before. Is my marriage legitimate or do I have to tell her that I am married and that she is the second wife? Please note that I concealed this matter from her because the country in which we live does not allow plural marriage.

ANSWER: Praise be to Allaah.

It is not obligatory for the husband to tell the second wife that he is already married and this does not affect the validity of his marriage to her. So long as the marriage contract fulfilled the necessary requirements and conditions, then it is valid.

Shaykh Ibn Jibreen (may Allah preserve him) was asked:

Is it essential for the marriage to be valid that a man should inform the woman he wants to marry that he is married to another one, if he is not asked about that? Are there any consequences if he denies it if he is asked?

He replied:

The man is not obliged to tell the woman or her family that he is married if they do not ask him, but that cannot usually be hidden because marriage is not usually done except after a period of enquiring and asking about each of the two partners and verifying that they are suitable. But it is not permissible to conceal any facts, and if either party tells a lie and the other party acts on the basis of it, then there is the option of cancelling it. If he says that he is not married and is lying about that, then the woman has the option of annulling the marriage. If they say that she was a virgin when she is not, then he has the option of going ahead with the marriage or cancelling it.

Fataawa Islamiyyah, 3/129.

IslamQ&A

How to Help Muslims Get Married: Tips For Parents And Imams

By Sound Vision Staff Writer

Sad but shocking reality: the divorce rate amongst Muslims in North America is one of the highest in the world.

According to New York-based Muslim sociologist Ilyas Ba-Yunus, Muslims in Canada and the U.S. have a divorce rate of 33 percent.

The world’s highest is the general U.S. population’s of 48.6 percent, followed by the United Kingdom’s of 36 percent.

Many assume divorce means problems began in the course of the marriage, whether it was communication breakdown or irreconcilable differences.

But there are many difficulties that lead to divorce which could have been avoided right from the beginning. This could have happened if individuals, parents, guardians and Imams had played their role right when communication between two Muslims seeking marriage began.

Below, we give you some tips and advice of what you can do:

HOW PARENTS CAN HELP:

The older woman noticed her instantly.

The twenty-something girl was an American Muslima, her white skin and Caucasian features bore testimony to that. She was perfect for her dear son Muhsin.

As she walked closer to her, she noticed the young woman talking to someone of a darker complexion.

The woman rushed up.

“Assalamu alaykum,” she said smiling at the American Muslima.

“Wa alaykum as Salaam,” replied the sister and her friend in unison, both a bit startled by the enthusiasm and ardor with which they were being greeted.

“I would like you to marry my son,” said the woman barely inches away from the American Muslima, and making no eye contact at all with her friend.

“But, but why,” she stammered.

“Because you are white and you are wearing a Jelbab. You will make a perfect wife for my Muhsin!”

(This is based on a true story, in which the ethnicity of two of the people involved has been changed

*******

While some would be surprised at the candor and bluntness of the older woman in the above-mentioned scenario, such scenes are not uncommon. Many parents seem to think approaching a prospect out of the blue will “reserve” this person for their son/daughter.

If you as a parent want to play an effective role in helping your children seek the right mate, things have to be done differently.

1.Understand your role

Your role as a mother or father is not to be the final arbiter of your child’s marriage. This may be how marriages were arranged “back home” in a Muslim country, but it is not the Islamic way. Nor is this way acceptable to most Muslims who have grown up in the West.

That said, the parents have a tremendous responsibility in the process. They:

a. suggest individuals as prospective spouses
b. thoroughly screen and check proposals, call references
c. act as the third party between the two candidates

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