Women Are Of Four Types – 20 Pieces Of Advice To My Sister Before Marriage

Ibn Hibban narrated in his work Nazahti Al-Fadlaa the advice of Al-Khattaab bin Mu’laa Al-Makhzoomee to his son. At the end of his words he mentioned the following: “Know that women vary more than the fingers of your hand. So be cautious in dealing with them.”

Every Evil Women will inevitably harm you:

The First Type:

– The woman who is amazed with herself and belittles her husband (27).
– If he honors her she sees it not except as a result of her virtue over him (28).
– She shows no gratitude for his courtesy. In her eyes he always falls short.
– She lashes her tongue out at him like a sharp sword.
– Her imprudence has removed the cover of shyness from her face: she is not shy from exposing her faults even when in front of the neighbors (29).
– She is like a growling dog with rabies, barking and biting.
– Her husband’s face is sad (30), and his honor is violated with the people.
– She over burdens him with her bad etiquettes and does not tend to his worldly or religious affairs.
– Nor does she uphold her duties towards him in spite of his companionship and the many children they may share;
– She doesn’t recognize any good that he does.
– His covering is revealed and made public. All the good that he does is buried (31).
– He reaches the morning dispirited and enters the evening reprimanding her (32).
– His drink is sour. His food is rage. His children are wasted and his house is destroyed (33).
– His clothes is filthy and hair dishevel. If he laughs he is worn down (34), and if he speaks he feels sickened. His day is night; his night is misery (35).
– She bites him like a vicious snake, and stings like a scorpion.

The Second Type:

– From amongst them are: The Shafsha’leeq (The relaxed and lazy woman), Sha’sha (The tall woman), Salfa’a (The blatantly ill-mannered woman), possessor of saturated poison (36), a spark of light yet worn out, she moves with the wind and flies with everyone who has wings (37).

The Cause Of Bad Temper From The Husbands. What Is The Solution?

How To Get Your husband To Work For You!

It seems Ahmad could never do anything right. When ‘Aaishah asked him to fold the laundry, Ahmad was eager to help out. But rather than praise Ahmad’s contribution, ‘Aaishah criticized his methods: “Why must you bring the clean clothes all the way across the house and dump them on the couch?” she asked.

Ahmad turned on the television. “So I can watch something while I fold clothes,” he said.

‘Aaishah folded her arms and fumed. “I would have been done by now.”

**************

It started with the laundry, but it ended with Ahmad and ‘Aaishah’s breakup.

‘Aaishah had no idea that her statement, uttered in frustration after a long wait in line at the bank and a flat tire that day, could be so detrimental to their relationship.

Ahmad loved ‘Aaishah with all his heart, but when ‘Aaishah criticized his method of folding laundry, she inadvertently called him a failure.

After the laundry incident,Ahmad shied away from helping ‘Aaishah with the chores, which led her to the false conclusion that he was lazy.

She began to search for occasions to prove her theory true, complaining about underwear in the bathroom or an empty glass in the living room.

Finally, Ahmad was convinced that he would never be good enough for ‘Aaishah. Rather than suffer further blows to his self-esteem, he ended the relationship.

Every day women perform great feats of strength, juggling the roles of employee, wife, caretaker and lover.

Women Are Of Four Types – 20 Pieces Of Advice To My Sister Before Marriage

Women Are Of Four Types – 20 Pieces Of Advice To My Sister Before Marriage

Ibn Hibban narrated in his work Nazahti Al-Fadlaa the advice of Al-Khattaab bin Mu’laa Al-Makhzoomee to his son. At the end of his words he mentioned the following: “Know that women vary more than the fingers of your hand. So be cautious in dealing with them.”

Every Evil Women will inevitably harm you:

The First Type:

– The woman who is amazed with herself and belittles her husband (27).
– If he honors her she sees it not except as a result of her virtue over him (28).
– She shows no gratitude for his courtesy. In her eyes he always falls short.
– She lashes her tongue out at him like a sharp sword.
– Her imprudence has removed the cover of shyness from her face: she is not shy from exposing her faults even when in front of the neighbors (29).
– She is like a growling dog with rabies, barking and biting.
– Her husband’s face is sad (30), and his honor is violated with the people.
– She over burdens him with her bad etiquettes and does not tend to his worldly or religious affairs.
– Nor does she uphold her duties towards him in spite of his companionship and the many children they may share;
– She doesn’t recognize any good that he does.
– His covering is revealed and made public. All the good that he does is buried (31).
– He reaches the morning dispirited and enters the evening reprimanding her (32).
– His drink is sour. His food is rage. His children are wasted and his house is destroyed (33).
– His clothes is filthy and hair dishevel. If he laughs he is worn down (34), and if he speaks he feels sickened. His day is night; his night is misery (35).
– She bites him like a vicious snake, and stings like a scorpion.

Two Husbands In The House

Two Husbands In The House

Many women -because of feminism – don’t obey their husbands – which is sinful.

Some practising sisters – they are not realising that they should obey their husbands. Allah’s Messenger said [meaning];

«لَوْ كُنْتُ آمِرًا أَحَدًا أَنْ يَسْجُدَ لِأَحَدٍ، لَأَمَرْتُ الْمَرْأَةَ أَنْ تَسْجُدَ لِزَوْجِهَا، مِنْ عِظَمِ حَقِّهِ عَلَيْهَا»

“If I were to command anyone to prostrate before anyone, I would have commanded the wife to prostrate before her husband, because of the enormity of his right upon her.”
There are so many other ahadeeth on the rights of the husband from the wife.

A [non muslim] Noble Prize winner said;

The Economical and Social crisis within the western world is due to the both husbands not playing the role they should play.

Meaning: the husband should provide for the family, and the woman should help the husband in the home to raise the children and the household.

He said; the husband should play his major role, and the wife should play her major role in the house and provide for the children etc. Once each party plays their role, a complimentary relationship will form. The husband is the provider for the house, and the wife uses this provision to grow the fruits (i.e. children).

A Wife as a Companion

It is the nature of the man; when he comes back home from work, he is tired and frustrated – and he wants to see his wife looking at him, smiling and caring for him and giving him attention. If he comes home from work and sees his wife on the phone, or the internet, or her attention isn’t on him in a good way – he will feel frustrated. He will feel that his wife is not for him, and due to this – problems start. Even a small thing will become a major thing because he will be ready to argue due to his previous frustration.

60 Ways To Keep Your Husband’s Love

1. Behave like a female, i.e. all the tenderness of a female–a man doesn’t want a man for his wife!

2. Dress pleasantly/attractively. If you are a home-maker, don’t stay in your sleeping suit all day.

3. Smell good!

4. Don’t lay out all your problems on your husband as soon as he walks in. Give him a little mental break.

5. Don’t keep asking him, “what are you thinking?”

6. Stop nagging non-stop before Allah ta’ala gives you something really to complain about.

7. Absolutely no talking about your spousal problems to anyone you meet, not even under the pretense of seeking help! If you think you want to solve legitimate marital issues, then go seek counseling with the right person who can give advice in either:
1. Mediate any injustice done so any wrong can be corrected and the couple can reunite in harmony, or
2. Amicable divorce

8. Be kind to your mother-in-law the same way you would like your husband to be kind to your own mother.

9. Learn all the rights and obligations of each other in Islam. Focus on fulfilling your obligations, not demanding your rights

Something For The Married Sisters!

http://www.weneedtounite.com

Enjoyed Al Hubb al ‘Udree [Noble Love]? Then this will surely be enlightening for everyone – married or not, the beneficial insight will only increase and sustain LOVE between lovers in Islam. The information is valuable for all whether married or not so do pass it on to everyone you know.

Insha’Allah through the naseeha we will alll attain Al Hubb al ‘Udree [Noble Love]

For The Woman:

Your husband’s Love Tank ran dry, the engine broke down, and now your marriage is stuck in a ditch by the side of the road? No need to worry! Just sit back and have a nice cup of TEA while you call up Triple A to pull your marriage out of the rut.

TEA Triple A – roadside assistance for understanding the 6 primary love needs of men.

T – Trust
E – Encouragement
A – Admiration

A – Approval
A – Appreciation
A – Acceptance

Trust – When the wife’s attitude is open and receptive toward her husband, he feels *trusted*. To trust a man is to believe that he is doing his best and that he wants the best for his wife. This positive belief should be reflected by the wife’s interactions with her husband.

Example: The husband is trying to fix the kitchen sink. As he struggles with the wrench, the wife looks on and says, “Maybe you should call a plumber…” The husband feels crushed because he thinks she doesn’t trust him to do what’s best for them. Instead, the wife should refrain from giving unsolicited advice (except Islamic advice, of course).

Encouragement – When the wife expresses confidence in her husband’s abilities and character, it fills him with hope and courage and he feels *encouraged*.

Example: When the Prophet (salla Allahu ‘alaihi wa sallam) received the first revelation from Allah, he was terrified and sought comfort with his wife Khadija. He said, “I fear that something may happen to me.” Khadija replied, “Never! But have the glad tidings, for by Allah, Allah will never disgrace you as you keep good relations with your kith and kin, speak the truth, help the poor and the destitute, serve your guest generously and assist the deserving, calamity-afflicted ones.” [Sahih Al-Bukhari]

Admiration – When the wife views the husband with wonder, delight, and pleased approval, the husband feels *admired*. Telling him what to do as if he were a child does not make him feel admired. Admiration is when the wife is happily amazed by his unique characteristics or talents like humor, strength, persistence, integrity, honesty, romance, kindness, love, understanding, etc.