Tag Archive | wali

[Poem] The Sorrow Of Growing Old Yet Still A Single Woman

It is said that a woman wrote the following poem from al-Baahah Mountain. It was written because she was forbidden from marriage until she became so old that few were interested in marrying her. She said:

When my fingertips wrote my letter, tears were flowing from my eyes.

I sent it to my affluent father who embraced me with protection and affection.

I sent it, and it contained that which I could not say; but what my heart and soul desires.

I sent it and tears fell upon its ink and I wrote it from a puzzling situation.

I kept it hidden from the most important one, but it did not prevent me from breaking from this concealment.

When I think of my drowning indeed my gray hair ignites as if my gray hair was luminous.

O you who are put off due to my old age.

Indeed, years of sadness have already passed.

When I see children, my tears flow, my heart burns from the fire of my deprivation.

When I see another woman living with her husband and her child sleeping in the nursery.

When I see her and her love with her child.

Continue reading

Brief Encounter On Facebook Leads To Love

Brief Encounter On Facebook Leads To Love

Q) I have male friends on facebook, and for a number of months I have been talking to a male friend and we have fallen in love. We haven’t met in person but have contemplated it. I feel bad but I feel so attached to him. Am I sinning? What do I do?

A) Thank you for the question. You mentioned that you have some male friends on facebook, and that you formed a relationship with a male friend and that relationship has transformed to loving that person. You also mentioned that you have contemplated meeting that person and you feel bad and do not know what to do.

First and foremost, we should know that there are certain etiquettes all Muslims have to adhere to when engaging with the opposite sex on facebook, forums etc. Among the manners are: When talking or writing there must not be any flirtation. Exchanging photos of each other should be completely avoided unless it was for the reasons of marriage and with the consent of one’s parents or guardians. Talking in private chat rooms etc should be avoided.

Secondly, falling in love is natural. Allah said in regards to the relationship between the husband and wife that He, ‘ordained between you love and mercy’ (30:21). Therefore, falling in love is not a sin because in shari’ah ‘whatever feelings overcome one’s heart without his or her choice, then no sin is deemed to have been committed. Indeed, feelings of love and hate which overcome one’s emotions inadvertently are not considered sins, unless they drive that person to act upon those feelings in an unlawful manner.

Continue reading

The Marriage Contract: Its Basic Elements

By Bilal Abu Aisha

All praise is due to Allah, the Creator of our world and the laws that govern it. And Peace and blessings of Allah be upon His slave and final Messenger Muhammad (saws), the one sent to all of mankind, the one sent to guide people out from the darkness of shirk (polytheism), into the light of Tawheed (montheism).

Know dear reader that Allah (swt) has created things in pairs. Those pairs must get together in certain ways in order for reproduction to occur. The way for reproduction to occur amongst humans – males and females, is through marriage, known in Arabic as nikaah. Islam urges Muslims to marry, and prohibits pre-marital relationships. Allah Most High says in the Qur’an: “Marry the unmarried among you…”1 Also, Allah’s Messenger (saws) in the hadith found in Bukhari and Muslim, commanded young people to marry, and advised those of them who could not afford it to fast as a means of controlling their sexual desire. From an Islamic perspective, marriage is not viewed merely as a means of satisfying natural desires and passions. Its goals are much deeper than just obtaining legal sex. Allah (swt) points out one of the main objectives behind marriage by saying: “And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves that you might live with tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts (hearts)…”2

Therefore, the phenomenon of bachelorship or celibacy are UN-Islamic practices that result in devastation, effecting the Muslim community, and posing a threat to the Islamic world. What devastation? What threat on the Islamic world? The answers to these questions are found in the non-Muslim communities. Every day we hear and observe with our very eyes the perverted and sinful ways of the Kuffaar (disbelievers). These ways which they find acceptable in their societies have ultimately led to many types of diseases such as A.I.D.S, syphilis and the like, as a result of their choice to follow the unnatural way of abstaining from marriage.

The marriage contract is the formal bond that turns two individuals from strangers to husband and wife. It is the most important contract that most people execute throughout their lives. Since the marriage contract has such great significance, the deen of Islam imposes a number of guidelines that it must fulfill. Many Muslims who are engaged in pre-marital relationships hold back from having the contract executed due to their ignorance about its elements. So they continue to live a sinful lifestyle due to cultural influences which lead them thinking the process is too demanding. Before delving into the basic elements of marriage, it worth mentioning here that marriage is a serious matter and should be dealt with seriously. It is not allowed for a man to marry and then claim he did not really mean it, or that he was joking. The Messenger of Allah (saws) said: “There are three matters in which it is not permissible to joke: marriage, divorce, and emancipation (of slaves).”3

Continue reading