Tag Archive | wife

The Story Of Umm Habibah; A Loyal Wife By All Means

Umm Habibah was married to Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) through the proxy of the Emperor of Abyssinia. She was the daughter of the chief of Makkah.

Her name was Ramlah bint Abi Sufyan. She was born 25 years before the Hijrah. Being the daughter of a prominent merchant and leader of her people, Umm Habibah enjoyed a very easy and comfortable life.

She — herself one of the few literate Arabs at the time — was married to a wealthy Makkan who was versed in the knowledge of major religions of his time. Despite the fierce resistance the Makkan polytheists showed to Islam and the fact that her own parents were among the arch enemies of Islam, Umm Habibah was one of the early converts to Islam.

Out of fear for his followers, Prophet Muhammad advised them to emigrate to Abyssinia on the Western Arabian side of the Red Sea that separated the Peninsula from Africa.

Umm Habibah was one of the emigrants along with her husband, Ubaidullah ibn Jahsh. To her misfortune the husband, for some reason or another, apostatized and took to drinking.

Thus, Umm Habibah had to suffer not only separation from her home and family at Makkah, but she also suffered alienation from a beloved husband. Yet, as a courageous Muslim, she bore all these difficulties with patience and perseverance, finding solace in the freedom she enjoyed along with the other emigrants in Abyssinia under the protection of Emperor Negus who was an open-minded Christian.

Parenthetically, we may add that according to Muslim historians the Emperor of Abyssinia (known today as Ethiopia) did convert at a later date to Islam in secrecy, out of admiration for Islam and its teachings, which explains why Prophet Muhammad asked the companions to pray for him upon his death.

During the year of truce between the Muslims and the Makkan polytheists, Prophet Muhammad, sent messages to the heads of the big powers of the time, Khosrau of Persia, the Byzantine emperor and the ruler of Abyssinia.

Along with the missive calling Negus to Islam, the Prophet asked him to act proxy for him in the marriage to Umm Habibah. For Prophet Muhammad realized the agony she was going through in that far and strange land.

The best consolation he could offer her was honoring her by marriage to him. Politically this was also a tactful act, because through marriage to Umm Habibah, the Prophet would be an in-law to Abu Sufyan, the leading antagonist of Islam, which would, help in softening his hostile attitude.

Thus, Umm Habibah was honored not only by being asked in marriage to the Prophet of Islam, but she was also honored by having the Emperor of Abyssinia himself proxy suitor.

Upon hearing of the proposal, Umm Habibah appointed a Companion to represent her and act as guardian. The emperor celebrated the occasion on behalf of the Prophet by giving a feast to the Muslim emigrants who attended the wedding.

It was sometime later that Umm Habibah managed to go to Madinah to her husband along with the other Muslim emigrants led by a cousin of the Prophet, Jafar ibn Abi Talib.

At the house of the Prophet, Umm Habibah faced another important test of her faith, when she came face to face with her father Abu Sufyan who was (as mentioned earlier) the leader of the enemies of Islam.

For, when some allies of Quraish broke the terms of the peace truce with Prophet Muhammad, with the implicit approval of the people of Quraish, Abu Sufyan hurried to Madinah to cover up for the treacherous act.

The first person that came to his mind was certainly his daughter Umm Habibah, since she was the wife of Prophet Muhammad. He hoped she would intercede for him with her husband.

Upon entering his daughter’s room Abu Sufyan wanted to sit on the Prophet’s mattress. Umm Habibah quickly folded the mattress. He was surprised and asked:

Are you trying to keep me away from the mattress or keep the mattress away from me?

Umm Habibah answered: “It is the mattress of the Messenger of God. You are a disbeliever and unclean. I did not want you to sit on the Messenger of God’s mattress,

He said: “By God, something has gone wrong with you.

She answered: “On the contrary, God has guided me to Islam. Father, you are the master and leader of Quraish. How can you sit on it as you have not joined Islam and are still worshipping useless stones?

The mission proved a failure for Abu Sufyan. But for Umm Habibah, she passed another difficult test. She had to choose between loyalty to her faith and love for her father whom she had not seen for many long years. She chose to take sides with her faith.

Thus, when Umm Habibah died 44 years after the Hijrah, her memory keeps living in the minds and hearts of millions of Muslims.

Source

How Can She Make Use Of Her Time When She Is Cooking In Ramadhaan?

Question:

I would like to know what actions are recommended during this blessed month in order to increase one’s reward, such as dhikrs, acts of worship, and mustahabb actions. I know about Taraweeh prayer, reciting Qur’aan a great deal, seeking forgiveness a great deal and praying at night. But I want to know some words I can repeat during my daily duties such as when I am cooking or doing housework, because I do not want to miss out on the reward.

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

May Allaah reward you with good for this concern and eagerness to do good and righteous deeds during this blessed month.

To the good deeds that you have mentioned may be added charity, feeding the poor, going for ‘Umrah and observing i’tikaaf for those who are able to do so.

As for the words that you can repeat whilst you are working, these include tasbeeh (saying Subhaan Allaah (Glory be to Allaah)), tahleel (saying Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah (There is no god but Allaah)), takbeer (saying Allaahu akbar (Allaah is most Great)), praying for forgiveness, making du’aa’ and responding to the muezzin. Keep your tongue moist with the remembrance of Allaah and seek a great reward with a few words which you can utter. For every tasbeehah you will have (the reward of) one charity, for every tahmeedah (saying Alhamdulillah (Praise be to Allaah)) you will have (the reward of) one charity, for every takbeerah you will have (the reward of) one charity, and for every tahleelah you will have (the reward of) one charity.

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Why Is It People Judge Muslim Women Differently

Just a few things to think about:

Why is it when a woman serves her boss at work she is honored, but when she serves her husband (her closest companion in life) it is considered slavery?

Why is it when a woman teaches other kids at school, she is great and is needed to produce an educated society, but when she stays at home to teach her kids and raises them, she is not so great, and should do something more productive in life than just lay eggs and raise kids?!!!

Why is it when a woman works as a chef and serves food for other people, she is praised, or is not looked down upon, but when she stays at home and cooks for her family, she is oppressed or backwards?

Why is it when a woman works at a dry cleaner, cleaning other peoples clothes, she is doing fine, she is working to earn money, nothing wrong with that, but when she washes her husband’s and childrens clothes, she is suffering and needs to be saved?!

Why is it when a woman works in an office outside of her home, she is a great woman, but if she works in an office inside of her home, she is not so great, and the only difference is that the second is at home ?

Why is it when a woman stays at home to serve her family she is a slave that needs to be freed from her prison, is oppressed, unproductive, backwards, and needs to get a life, while the woman who serves other people outside of her home, is a great and magnificent woman, she is a free woman, an equal to man, and has a bright future.

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Wives Preventing Polygyny, By Shaykh Al-Albaanee

Definition: Polygyny: The condition or practice of having more than one wife at one time.

This is a much needed admonition to the muslimaat upon the sunnah, and may Allaah grant both men and women the akhlaaq (manners) to deal with such situations.

Shaykh Al-Albaanee (rahimahullaah) says:

Of course, I believe that that is not allowed for (the woman) (to come between her husband and polygyny) because of two reasons:

The first (reason) is that she is hindering (her husband) from the path of Allaah.

And the other (reason) is that she is opposing the command of her husband.

Because you know…that the obedience of a woman to her husband is obligatory the way the matter is with regard to the obedience of an individual from the individual members of a nation toward the Muslim ruler, with an obedience which I don’t say is blind but rather a complete obedience, except what is made an exception in the islamic legislation, which is (obeying someone) in disobedience to Allaah.

And from this results Islamically legislated rulings which (state) that if the Muslim ruler commands that which is fundamentally allowed, this command becomes obligatory for the one who is commanded with it to carry it out, because it is the command of the ruler. Exactly likewise is the command with respect to the husband with his wife.

So, if the husband commands his wife with some command while that command is allowed in the foundation of the islamic legislation and while the woman is able to carry it out, then it is obligatory upon her to obey him. And if she does not obey him, then she has disobeyed Allaah and His Messenger [sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam].

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How To Keep Your Marriage In tact: Through Obedience To Allaah

Below is a story I read in Gems And Jewels, Pp. 257-258. Beautiful, sad and a nice lesson gained…

How To Keep Your Marriage In tact: Through Obedience To Allaah

My story is plain enough, nothing strikingly poignant about it, but I tell you that perhaps you can learn from my mistake:

My marriage began as a very happy union between my husband and myself. We weren’t rich, but we were content with what we had, and we had a daughter whom we both loved dearly.

In the early stages of our marriage, we would put our daughter to sleep, and we would pray, glorify Allaah, and recite the Qur’aan.

One day, we checked our savings and realized that we had saved a considerable sum of money, and so I suggested to my husband that we should buy interest bearing shares, the proceeds of which we could definitely use to help our daughter later on in life.

We invested all that we had, including all of the money that I made from selling all of my jewelry. After only a short time passed, the prices of the shares plunged, we went bankrupt, and we were left with many debts. We came to learn the hard way that:

Allaah will destroy riba (usury) and will give increase for sadaqaat (deeds of charity, ominous, etc.).” [Qur’aan 2:276]

During one of the difficult nights that followed, I got into a huge argument with my husband and demanded that he divorce me. He then screamed out, “You are divorced from me!!! You are divorced from me!!!”

Both my child and I cried, and through the many tears, it was this that was constantly going through my mind: We were joined together through obedience to Allaah, and we then became separated through disobedience to Him.

The Four Keys To Jannah

The Prophet sallaallaahu alayhi wa sallaam said:

When a woman (a) observes her five obligatory prayers, (b) fasts during Ramadan, (c) preserves her chastity and (d) obeys her husband, she may enter by any gate of Paradise she wishes.

Reported by Ibn Hibban, al-Bazzaar, Imam Ahmed Ibn Hanbal, at-Tabarani and Al-Albaani.

A Wife Should Not Let Anyone Enter Her Husband’s Home Except With His Permission

Question:

When should a husband or wife allow or not allow others ‘mahrams or non-mahrams’ to enter the couple’s home?.

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

The marital home is a noble and honourable home, which Allaah has commanded both spouses to protect; the wife in particular is commanded to protect the trust of this home, because she is the lady of the house.

It was narrated from Jaabir that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said in the Farewell Khutbah:

Fear Allaah with regard to women, for you have taken them as a trust from Allaah, and intimacy with them has become permissible to you by the word of Allaah. Your rights over them are that they should not allow anyone whom you dislike to sit on your furniture. If they do that, then hit them, but in a manner that does not cause injury or leave a mark. Their rights over you are that you should provide for them and clothe them in a reasonable manner.” Narrated by Muslim (1218).

The issue of permission to enter the marital home may be summed up in the following points:

Firstly:

If the husband gives his wife clear permission to admit a specific person who is one of her mahrams or a woman, or if his permission is general, then it is permissible for the wife in that case to admit them to his house, according to scholarly consensus.

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‘Umar’s Protective Jealousy With His Wives

‘Umar’s Palace In Jannah

The Messenger of Allaah said:

I saw myself (in a dream) entering Paradise, and there I saw Ar-Rumaysa’ – the wife of Abu Talhah – and I heard the sound of footsteps. I said, “Who is this?” He said, “It is Bilal.” And I saw a palace, in the courtyard of which there was a young woman. I said, “Whose (palace) is this?” They said, “(It is) ‘Umar’s.” I wanted to go in and look around, but then I remembered your protective jealousy.

‘Umar said, “May my father and mother be sacrificed for you, O’ Messenger of Allaah! Would I feel jealous towards you?

[Narrated by Muslim 2394, and Bukhaari 3476 & 6620]

According to another report the Messenger of Allaah said:

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Women Are Of Four Types – 20 Pieces Of Advice To My Sister Before Marriage

Ibn Hibban narrated in his work Nazahti Al-Fadlaa the advice of Al-Khattaab bin Mu’laa Al-Makhzoomee to his son. At the end of his words he mentioned the following: “Know that women vary more than the fingers of your hand. So be cautious in dealing with them.

Every Evil Women will inevitably harm you:

The First Type:

– The woman who is amazed with herself and belittles her husband (27).
– If he honors her she sees it not except as a result of her virtue over him (28).
– She shows no gratitude for his courtesy. In her eyes he always falls short.
– She lashes her tongue out at him like a sharp sword.
– Her imprudence has removed the cover of shyness from her face: she is not shy from exposing her faults even when in front of the neighbors (29).
– She is like a growling dog with rabies, barking and biting.
 Her husband’s face is sad (30), and his honor is violated with the people.
 She over burdens him with her bad etiquettes and does not tend to his worldly or religious affairs.
 Nor does she uphold her duties towards him in spite of his companionship and the many children they may share;
 She doesn’t recognize any good that he does.
 His covering is revealed and made public. All the good that he does is buried (31).
 He reaches the morning dispirited and enters the evening reprimanding her (32).
 His drink is sour. His food is rage. His children are wasted and his house is destroyed (33).
 His clothes is filthy and hair dishevel. If he laughs he is worn down (34), and if he speaks he feels sickened. His day is night; his night is misery (35).
 She bites him like a vicious snake, and stings like a scorpion.

The Second Type:

 From amongst them are: The Shafsha’leeq (The relaxed and lazy woman), Sha’sha (The tall woman), Salfa’a (The blatantly ill-mannered woman), possessor of saturated poison (36), a spark of light yet worn out, she moves with the wind and flies with everyone who has wings (37).
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The Mahr (Dowry) Should Be A Small Amount

[QUESTION]:

I and many others have observed that many people are very excessive when it comes to the matter of the mahr (wedding dowry that is paid to the bride), and that they seek great amounts of mahr when it comes to the marriage of their daughters, and they stipulate as a condition the giving of other gifts to them, along with the mahr.

This wealth that people demand in such cases, is it halaal (lawful) or haraam (unlawful)?

[ANSWER]:

What is prescribed in the Sharee’ah is that the mahr should be a small amount and that people should not compete with each other in this regard, acting in accordance with the many ahaadeeth which are related about this. They should also help facilitate marriages and be keen in preserving the modesty and decency of the young Muslim men and women.

And it is not permissible for the awliyaa (guardians of the brides-to-be) to demand and stipulate gifts for themselves, since they have no right at all in this matter. Rather the right belongs to the woman, and in some particular cases to the father.

He may stipulate a condition as long as it does not harm the daughter, nor lead to the delaying of the marriage. However, if the father forgoes such a right then this is better and more preferable.

Allaah – the One free from all defects – says: “And marry those amongst you who are single and also marry the pious of your male and female slaves. If they be poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His Bounty.” [Soorah an-Noor 24:32].

In the hadeeth of ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir radiallaahu ‘anhu, the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said: “The best dowry is that which is easy.” This was narrated by Abu Daawood and al-Haakim who authenticated it.

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