Tag Archive | wife

Advice Of ‘Abdullaah Ibn Ja’far To His Daughter Before Her Marriage

‘Abdullaah Ibn Ja’far (may Allah have mercy on him) addressed his daughter saying:

(1) Avoid jealousy, as it is the key to your divorce;

(2) Avoid complaint, as it instigates anger;

(3) Adorn yourself for him, and make sure you wash away any bad odours by frequent bathing.

Some Advice To The Muslim Women, By Khaalid Yaseen [VDO]

Click here to download the lecture [external link].

This lecture is a vital one to watch, for both sisters and brothers. Shaykh Khalid Yasin goes through many important topics, such as the rights and responsibilities of the wife to husband and vice-versa, the controversial issue of polygamy (multiple marriage) – the wisdom and legitimacy behind it and much more. The Shaykh also gives lots of advice for a successful and happy marriage.

I have uploaded this lecture on my account on IslamicTube. Below are the links to the parts in shaa allaah:

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8  | Part 9.

O Sisters, Your Brother-In-Law Is Nothing But Death!

The Hadeeth:

A wife should not go out in front of the brother-in-law or be alone with him in the house, because the Prophet (saw) said:

Beware of entering upon women.

One of the Sahaabah said to him, “O Messenger of Allaah, what about the brother-in-law?

He said: “The brother-in-law is death!

[Bukhaaree, Fath al-Baari, 9/330]

Commentry By An-Nawawee:

An-Nawawee, may Allaah have mercy on him, said:

This hadeeth refers to all the relatives of the husband apart from his father and sons, who are mahrams for the wife and she is allowed to be alone with them; they are not described as “death.” It refers to the brother, nephew, uncle, cousin and other relatives of the husband whom she would be permitted to marry if she were not already married.

Because people customarily treat this matter so lightly, and a man may sit alone with his brother’s wife, the brother-in-law is likened to death, and he is the foremost among non-mahram men who should be prevented from doing so.

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The Story Of Umm Habibah; A Loyal Wife By All Means

Umm Habibah was married to Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) through the proxy of the Emperor of Abyssinia. She was the daughter of the chief of Makkah.

Her name was Ramlah bint Abi Sufyan. She was born 25 years before the Hijrah. Being the daughter of a prominent merchant and leader of her people, Umm Habibah enjoyed a very easy and comfortable life.

She — herself one of the few literate Arabs at the time — was married to a wealthy Makkan who was versed in the knowledge of major religions of his time. Despite the fierce resistance the Makkan polytheists showed to Islam and the fact that her own parents were among the arch enemies of Islam, Umm Habibah was one of the early converts to Islam.

Out of fear for his followers, Prophet Muhammad advised them to emigrate to Abyssinia on the Western Arabian side of the Red Sea that separated the Peninsula from Africa.

Umm Habibah was one of the emigrants along with her husband, Ubaidullah ibn Jahsh. To her misfortune the husband, for some reason or another, apostatized and took to drinking.

Thus, Umm Habibah had to suffer not only separation from her home and family at Makkah, but she also suffered alienation from a beloved husband. Yet, as a courageous Muslim, she bore all these difficulties with patience and perseverance, finding solace in the freedom she enjoyed along with the other emigrants in Abyssinia under the protection of Emperor Negus who was an open-minded Christian.

Parenthetically, we may add that according to Muslim historians the Emperor of Abyssinia (known today as Ethiopia) did convert at a later date to Islam in secrecy, out of admiration for Islam and its teachings, which explains why Prophet Muhammad asked the companions to pray for him upon his death.

During the year of truce between the Muslims and the Makkan polytheists, Prophet Muhammad, sent messages to the heads of the big powers of the time, Khosrau of Persia, the Byzantine emperor and the ruler of Abyssinia.

Along with the missive calling Negus to Islam, the Prophet asked him to act proxy for him in the marriage to Umm Habibah. For Prophet Muhammad realized the agony she was going through in that far and strange land.

The best consolation he could offer her was honoring her by marriage to him. Politically this was also a tactful act, because through marriage to Umm Habibah, the Prophet would be an in-law to Abu Sufyan, the leading antagonist of Islam, which would, help in softening his hostile attitude.

Thus, Umm Habibah was honored not only by being asked in marriage to the Prophet of Islam, but she was also honored by having the Emperor of Abyssinia himself proxy suitor.

Upon hearing of the proposal, Umm Habibah appointed a Companion to represent her and act as guardian. The emperor celebrated the occasion on behalf of the Prophet by giving a feast to the Muslim emigrants who attended the wedding.

It was sometime later that Umm Habibah managed to go to Madinah to her husband along with the other Muslim emigrants led by a cousin of the Prophet, Jafar ibn Abi Talib.

At the house of the Prophet, Umm Habibah faced another important test of her faith, when she came face to face with her father Abu Sufyan who was (as mentioned earlier) the leader of the enemies of Islam.

For, when some allies of Quraish broke the terms of the peace truce with Prophet Muhammad, with the implicit approval of the people of Quraish, Abu Sufyan hurried to Madinah to cover up for the treacherous act.

The first person that came to his mind was certainly his daughter Umm Habibah, since she was the wife of Prophet Muhammad. He hoped she would intercede for him with her husband.

Upon entering his daughter’s room Abu Sufyan wanted to sit on the Prophet’s mattress. Umm Habibah quickly folded the mattress. He was surprised and asked:

Are you trying to keep me away from the mattress or keep the mattress away from me?

Umm Habibah answered: “It is the mattress of the Messenger of God. You are a disbeliever and unclean. I did not want you to sit on the Messenger of God’s mattress,

He said: “By God, something has gone wrong with you.

She answered: “On the contrary, God has guided me to Islam. Father, you are the master and leader of Quraish. How can you sit on it as you have not joined Islam and are still worshipping useless stones?

The mission proved a failure for Abu Sufyan. But for Umm Habibah, she passed another difficult test. She had to choose between loyalty to her faith and love for her father whom she had not seen for many long years. She chose to take sides with her faith.

Thus, when Umm Habibah died 44 years after the Hijrah, her memory keeps living in the minds and hearts of millions of Muslims.

Source

How Can She Make Use Of Her Time When She Is Cooking In Ramadhaan?

Question:

I would like to know what actions are recommended during this blessed month in order to increase one’s reward, such as dhikrs, acts of worship, and mustahabb actions. I know about Taraweeh prayer, reciting Qur’aan a great deal, seeking forgiveness a great deal and praying at night. But I want to know some words I can repeat during my daily duties such as when I am cooking or doing housework, because I do not want to miss out on the reward.

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

May Allaah reward you with good for this concern and eagerness to do good and righteous deeds during this blessed month.

To the good deeds that you have mentioned may be added charity, feeding the poor, going for ‘Umrah and observing i’tikaaf for those who are able to do so.

As for the words that you can repeat whilst you are working, these include tasbeeh (saying Subhaan Allaah (Glory be to Allaah)), tahleel (saying Laa ilaaha ill-Allaah (There is no god but Allaah)), takbeer (saying Allaahu akbar (Allaah is most Great)), praying for forgiveness, making du’aa’ and responding to the muezzin. Keep your tongue moist with the remembrance of Allaah and seek a great reward with a few words which you can utter. For every tasbeehah you will have (the reward of) one charity, for every tahmeedah (saying Alhamdulillah (Praise be to Allaah)) you will have (the reward of) one charity, for every takbeerah you will have (the reward of) one charity, and for every tahleelah you will have (the reward of) one charity.

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Why Is It People Judge Muslim Women Differently

Just a few things to think about:

Why is it when a woman serves her boss at work she is honored, but when she serves her husband (her closest companion in life) it is considered slavery?

Why is it when a woman teaches other kids at school, she is great and is needed to produce an educated society, but when she stays at home to teach her kids and raises them, she is not so great, and should do something more productive in life than just lay eggs and raise kids?!!!

Why is it when a woman works as a chef and serves food for other people, she is praised, or is not looked down upon, but when she stays at home and cooks for her family, she is oppressed or backwards?

Why is it when a woman works at a dry cleaner, cleaning other peoples clothes, she is doing fine, she is working to earn money, nothing wrong with that, but when she washes her husband’s and childrens clothes, she is suffering and needs to be saved?!

Why is it when a woman works in an office outside of her home, she is a great woman, but if she works in an office inside of her home, she is not so great, and the only difference is that the second is at home ?

Why is it when a woman stays at home to serve her family she is a slave that needs to be freed from her prison, is oppressed, unproductive, backwards, and needs to get a life, while the woman who serves other people outside of her home, is a great and magnificent woman, she is a free woman, an equal to man, and has a bright future.

Source

Wives Preventing Polygyny, By Shaykh Al-Albaanee

Definition: Polygyny: The condition or practice of having more than one wife at one time.

This is a much needed admonition to the muslimaat upon the sunnah, and may Allaah grant both men and women the akhlaaq (manners) to deal with such situations.

Shaykh Al-Albaanee (rahimahullaah) says:

Of course, I believe that that is not allowed for (the woman) (to come between her husband and polygyny) because of two reasons:

The first (reason) is that she is hindering (her husband) from the path of Allaah.

And the other (reason) is that she is opposing the command of her husband.

Because you know…that the obedience of a woman to her husband is obligatory the way the matter is with regard to the obedience of an individual from the individual members of a nation toward the Muslim ruler, with an obedience which I don’t say is blind but rather a complete obedience, except what is made an exception in the islamic legislation, which is (obeying someone) in disobedience to Allaah.

And from this results Islamically legislated rulings which (state) that if the Muslim ruler commands that which is fundamentally allowed, this command becomes obligatory for the one who is commanded with it to carry it out, because it is the command of the ruler. Exactly likewise is the command with respect to the husband with his wife.

So, if the husband commands his wife with some command while that command is allowed in the foundation of the islamic legislation and while the woman is able to carry it out, then it is obligatory upon her to obey him. And if she does not obey him, then she has disobeyed Allaah and His Messenger [sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam].

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