Tag Archive | obedient

Sisters’ Jihaad

When asked about women’s jihaad, many people quote the hadeeth about hajj being a woman’s jihaad, but rarely do we see the following hadeeth being quoted.

A woman came to the Prophet (saw) and said:

“O Messenger of Allaah! I come to you on behalf of a group of women. For the men is al-jihaad and the spoils of war. What is for us?”

So the Prophet (saw) said:

“Convey to those whom you meet from the women that (a) obedience to the husband and (b) respect for his status is equal to that, and how few from amongst you actually does it.”

[Al-Bazzaar & Tabaraanee]

Being An Obedient Wife

If you were to ponder you would realise that the reward for good (i.e you obeying your husband) is nothing but good (i.e, he will in return treat you good). So your obedience towards your husband leads to him being obedient to you in those things that you seek from him, because indeed a pure soul is accustomed to responding to good with good…

So it is incumbent upon you to obey your husband in al-ma’roof. And that which is apparent from the meaning of obedience is to act upon a command and to abstain from a prohibition. You should become as close to him as possible, by seeking to satisfy his wants and needs at all times.

Don’t wait for him to give you a command or to prohibit you from something.

Rather reflect on your days spent with him and on the things he loves and hates, and be quick to carry these things out. Let your actions precede his command and prohibition. For indeed this is a sign of your cleverness and dignity that you hasten towards good before he even commands it of you.

In addition to that, this obedience is something you have to be committed to and firm upon at all times. So if he were to command you with one thing or prohibit you from another thing, then do not wait for him to command you with the same thing each and every time. It is looked down upon by men of intellect that a man has to constantly reprimand his wife saying, do this and don’t do that.

If you know from your husband’s personality that he likes or dislikes a thing, don’t wait for him to command you and prohibit you, because this is from the things that lead to a husband becoming bored with his wife.

[Taken from “20 Pieces Of Advice To My Sister Before Her Marriage”, p. 26-27]

The Husband’s Rights Over His Wife

The rights of the husband over his wife are among the greatest rights; indeed his rights over her are greater than her rights over him, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable, but men have a degree (of responsibility) over them.” [al-Baqarah 2:228]

al-Jassaas said: “Allaah tells us in this aayah that each of the spouses has rights over the other, and that the husband has one particular right over his wife which she does not have over him.

Ibn al-‘Arabi said: “This text states that he has some preference over her with regard to rights and duties of marriage.

These rights include:

(a) The Obligation Of Obedience

Allaah has made the man a qawwaam (protector and maintainer) of the woman by commanding, directing and taking care of her, just as guardians take care of their charges, by virtue of the physical and mental faculties that Allaah has given only to men and the financial obligations that He has enjoined upon them. Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means” [al-Nisaa’ 4:34]

‘Ali ibn Abi Talhah said, narrating from Ibn ‘Abbaas: “Men are the protectors and maintainers of women” means, “they are in charge of them, i.e., she should obey him in matters of obedience that Allaah has enjoined upon her, and obey him by treating his family well and taking care of his wealth.” This was the view of Muqaatil, al-Saddi and al-Dahhaak.(Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 1/492)

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Obedience To The Husband

Islam has given woman rights and imposed on her some obligations. One of the most significant rights is that of her husband over her. The husband is your Paradise or your Hellfire; that is, if you obey him you will enter Paradise, and if you disobey him you will enter Hellfire. The following are Ahaadith which order a woman to obey her husband:

The Prophet sallaallaahu alayhi wa sallaam said:

When a woman observes her five obligatory prayers, fasts during Ramadan, preserves her chastity and obeys her husband, she may enter by any gate of Paradise she wishes.

Reported by Ibn Hibban, al-Bazzaar, Imam Ahmed Ibn Hanbal, at-Tabarani and al-Baani.

The Prophet sallaallaahu alayhi wa sallaam said:

If a woman dies while her husband was pleased with her, she will enter Paradise.

Reported by at-Tirmidhi.

The Prophet sallaallaahu alayhi wa sallaam said:

If a husband calls his wife to his bed (to have sexual relations) and she refuses and causes him to sleep in anger, the Angels will curse her till morning.” In another naration “…until he is happy with her.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 3065; Muslim, 1436)

The Prophet sallaallaahu alayhi wa sallaam said:

If I were to order anyone to prostrate himself before another, I should order a woman to prostrate herself before her husband.

Reported by at-Tirmidhi and Ibn Hibban.

When the Prophet sallaallaahu alayhi wa sallaam was asked which woman was best he replied,

The one who pleases (her husband) when he looks at her, obeys him when he gives a command, and does not go against his wishes regarding her person or property by doing anything of which he disapproves.

Reported by at-Tirmidhi, an-Nasa’i’ and al-Bayhaqi.

A woman approached the Prophet sallaallaahu alayhi wa sallaam informing him that she intends to marry her cousin , and asked what the rights of her husband would be over her, to which he replied,

Were you to lick the snot off of his nose, even then you would not have given him his full rights he has over you.” At which the woman replied, “In that case, I do not wish to get married!

Reported by Ahmad, Al-Bazaar and Silsilat As-Saheeha.

Anas (radiya Allahu ‘anh), that the Messenger of Allah (salla Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:

It is not permissible for a human being to prostrate to another human being. Were it permissible for a human being to prostrate to another human being, I would have commanded the woman to prostrate to her husband because of his great right upon her. By the One in Whose hand is my soul, if he (the husband) had, from his feet to the top of his head, an ulcer oozing blood and pus, and she came to lick it off for him, she would not have fulfilled his right.

[Recorded in Ahmad and al-Nasa’i, verified as authentic by al-Albani in Sahih al-Jami’ no.7725]

There is another similar narration on Abu Sa’id al-Khudri (radiya Allahu ‘anh), that the Messenger of Allah (salla Allahu ‘alayhi wa sallam) said:

A husband’s right upon his wife is such that if he had an ulcer and she licked it for him, she would not fulfil his right by that.

[Recorded in al-Hakim and Ibn Hibban, verified as authentic by al-Albani in Sahih al-Jami’ no. 3148]

The hadith is authentic according to shaykh al Albani rahimahullah.

Atee’ullah wa atee’ar-rasool. Sami’na wa ata’na
Obey Allah and Obey his Messenger. Indeed we hear, and we obey.

This is an emphasis of the right of the husband over his wife.

They Are Clothing For You And You Are Clothing For Them

Great Tafsir of one ayat in Qur’an. So many benefits arranged from one sentence of Qur’an.

Allah says: “It is made lawful for you to have sexual relations with your wives on the on the night of the fasts. They are clothing for you and you are clothing for them…” [Sûrah al-Baqarah: 187]

Allah chose to use the word “clothing” rather than any other word to describe the special relationship between a man and his wife. Allah made the man clothing for the woman and the woman clothing for the man. The word “clothing” as used in this context is rich with meaning. It would be quite difficult to express in words every subtlety that it conveys. We shall try, however, to consider a few of the ideas that this word expresses.

1. The word “clothing” in its most literal sense is what immediately covers the body with no barrier in between.

2. The word clothing connotes the idea of equality, complementarity, and support of both a psychological and physical nature. The man has his role and the woman has hers. The woman cannot be construed as merely a vehicle to fulfill the man’s desires. She is a human being, equal to the man. Each of them is as clothing to the other in every aspect of life.

3. Clothing implies adornment and beautification. Allah says: “Take your adornment to every mosque.” [Sûrah al-A`raf: 31] A man and woman are an adornment and beautification for each other.

Ibn `Abbâs said: “Indeed, I like to dress up for a woman in the same way as I like it for a woman to dress herself up for me. This is because Allah says: ‘And they have upon you similar rights to those you have upon them in good dealings.’ And I do not like to exact from her every right to which I am entitled, since Allah says: ‘and for the man there is a degree over them’.” [Tafsîr al-Tabarî (1/625)]

Some of this beauty is of a physical kind, for a person sees in the one he truly loves beauty that others do not see.

Some of this beauty is also of an intangible nature. Faithfulness and enduring friendship are a part of faith, as the Prophet (peace be upon him) said.

A woman adorns herself with her husband when she speaks about him to her friends. She can tend to embellish her account, claiming that he loves her so much, honors her so much, and gives her so much… even when the truth is far short of all that.

4. Clothing conveys the meaning of covering and concealment. Allah says: “O children of Adam! We have bestowed upon you clothing to conceal your shame and as an adornment.” [Sûrah al-A`râf: 26]

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