Tag Archive | mixes

Victims of Free Mixing. True stories

Lost hope

Umm Muhammad, a mature woman over the age of 40, tells her story.

I lived a life of modest means with my husband. There was never any closeness and harmony, and my husband did not have the kind of strong personality that a woman would hope for, but his good nature made me overlook the fact that I was the one who was responsible for most of the decision making in the family.

My husband often used to mention the name of his friend and business partner, and he would talk about him in my presence, and I often used to meet with him in his office which was originally part of our apartment. This went on for many years, until circumstances led to us exchanging visits with this person and his family. These family visits were repeated and because of his close friendship with my husband, we did not notice how the number of visits increased and how many hours a single visit would last. He often used to come on his own to sit with us, me and my husband, for long visits. My husband’s trust in him knew no bounds, and as days passed I got to know this person very well, and saw how wonderful and decent he was. I began to feel a strong attraction towards this man, and at the same time I began to sense that the feeling was mutual.

Things took a strange turn after that, when I realized that this man was the kind of person I had always dreamed about. Why had he come along now, after all these years? The more this man’s status increased in my eyes, the more my husband’s status diminished. It was as if I had needed to see the beauty of his character in order to discover how ugly my husband’s character was.

The matter between this person and myself did not go beyond these persistent thoughts which were occupying my mind night and day. Neither he nor I ever voiced what we felt in our hearts… until today. Yet despite that my life is over and my husband is little more than a weak man with no self-esteem. I hate him and I do not know how all this hatred towards him started to boil over. I wonder how I put up with him all these years, bearing all these burdens by myself, facing life’s problems on my own.

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Ruling On College/University (Bin Baaz & Uthaymeen)

Ruling On College/University

The Prophet (Sallallaahu aayhi wa sallam) said “The deen is naseehah (Sincere advice).“[Muslim, Abu Dawud & Nisa’e]

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen:

Question: Muslim women and their daughters in western countries where there are Muslim minorities face very difficult circumstances in that education and work are mixed environments. We are caught between two possibilities. Either we cut-off our provision, stay at home and beg and as a result sink to a very desperate material condition, or, alternatively, wear our Islaamic hijaab and study and work in those societies which do not differentiate between mixing and separation. What is your esteemed opinion concerning this matter?

Response: Concerning this very crucial issue, I believe that it is obligatory for a Muslim to patiently adhere to and persevere with Allaah’s religion and not to be of those whom Allaah describes, saying: {And of mankind are those that say, “We believe in Allaah.” But if they are made to suffer for the Sake of Allaah, they consider the persecution of mankind as Allaah’s punishment…}, [Soorah al-‘Ankaboot, Aayah 10].

A Muslim must be patient and if it is not possible to gain a livelihood except by what Allaah has forbidden, namely through the mixing of men and women, then this livelihood must be abandoned and another sought from another direction or from another country. Was Allaah’s land not vast enough for you to emigrate therein? This is also true with respect to seeking knowledge. How good it would be if the Muslim minorities could establish their own schools based on the religion of Islaam, where boys and girls are taught separately. If that could be achieved it would be a great blessing. It is not possible, however, for us to permit the mixing of the sexes because of the seriousness of the issue and the level of temptation contained therein.

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