Tag Archive | husband’s

O Sisters, Your Brother-In-Law Is Nothing But Death!

The Hadeeth:

A wife should not go out in front of the brother-in-law or be alone with him in the house, because the Prophet (saw) said:

Beware of entering upon women.

One of the Sahaabah said to him, “O Messenger of Allaah, what about the brother-in-law?

He said: “The brother-in-law is death!

[Bukhaaree, Fath al-Baari, 9/330]

Commentry By An-Nawawee:

An-Nawawee, may Allaah have mercy on him, said:

This hadeeth refers to all the relatives of the husband apart from his father and sons, who are mahrams for the wife and she is allowed to be alone with them; they are not described as “death.” It refers to the brother, nephew, uncle, cousin and other relatives of the husband whom she would be permitted to marry if she were not already married.

Because people customarily treat this matter so lightly, and a man may sit alone with his brother’s wife, the brother-in-law is likened to death, and he is the foremost among non-mahram men who should be prevented from doing so.

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A Wife Should Not Let Anyone Enter Her Husband’s Home Except With His Permission

Question:

When should a husband or wife allow or not allow others ‘mahrams or non-mahrams’ to enter the couple’s home?.

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

The marital home is a noble and honourable home, which Allaah has commanded both spouses to protect; the wife in particular is commanded to protect the trust of this home, because she is the lady of the house.

It was narrated from Jaabir that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said in the Farewell Khutbah:

Fear Allaah with regard to women, for you have taken them as a trust from Allaah, and intimacy with them has become permissible to you by the word of Allaah. Your rights over them are that they should not allow anyone whom you dislike to sit on your furniture. If they do that, then hit them, but in a manner that does not cause injury or leave a mark. Their rights over you are that you should provide for them and clothe them in a reasonable manner.” Narrated by Muslim (1218).

The issue of permission to enter the marital home may be summed up in the following points:

Firstly:

If the husband gives his wife clear permission to admit a specific person who is one of her mahrams or a woman, or if his permission is general, then it is permissible for the wife in that case to admit them to his house, according to scholarly consensus.

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Most Of Those Who Will Enter Hell Will Be Women

Most of Hell’s inhabitants are women

In the khutbah given during the solar eclipse, the Prophet (saw) said;

I saw hell and I saw that most of its dwellers/inhabitants were women.” [Bukhaaree & Muslim, via Ibn ‘Abbaas]

Most of Hell’s inhabitants are women! (Another narration)

The Prophet (saw) mentioned;

I stood by the gate of Hell and saw that most of those who entered (it) were women.” [Bukhaaree & Muslim, via Usaamah Ibn Zayd]

Because they (women) are ungrateful to their husbands

The prophet (aw) said;

O women, give in charity, for I have seen that you form the majority of the people of Hell.

They asked, “Why is that, O Messenger of Allaah?

He (saw) answered, “Because you curse too much and are ungrateful for the good treatment (done to you by your husbands).” [Bukhaaree & Muslim, via Abu Sa’eed al-Khudree]

In another narration

The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “I was shown Hell and I have never seen anything more terrifying than it. And I saw that the majority of its people are women.

They asked, “Why, O Messenger of Allaah?

He (saw) said, “Because of their ingratitude (kufr).

It was said, “Are they ungrateful to Allaah?

He (saw) said, “They are ungrateful to their companions (husbands) and ungrateful for good treatment. If you are kind to one of them for a lifetime then she sees one (undesirable) thing in you, she will say, ‘I have never had anything good from you.’

[Bukhaaree (#1052), via ‘Abdullaah ibn ‘Abbaas]

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To What Extent Can The Husband’s Relatives Interfere In His Wife’s Life?

Question:

What are the rights of the in-laws (the husband’s brothers and sisters) in Islam? Do the father- and mother-in-law have the right of obedience? Do they have the right to enter my room with or without permission? To what extent should I obey them with regard to my clothing, cooking, childcare, keeping house and going out of the house? Do they have the right to interfere in our marital life? Do they have any rights with regard to our work, where we live, education and the like? Do I have to ask their permission to visit my family? Do they have the right to know all the details about our life? Do I have to obey them and shake hands with my husband’s relatives? Do my husband and I have to attend weddings in which there are haraam things?.

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

The wife does not have to obey anyone among her in-laws, whether that is her husband’s father, mother, brothers or sisters, in any matter, major or minor, unless they tell her to do something which is obligatory according to Islam, or forbid her to do something that is haraam. In such matters she has to obey, whether that comes from a relative or a stranger, an in-law or anyone else.

With regard to the husband, she must obey him in matters that are right and proper, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allaah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means…” [al-Nisa’ 4:34]

Ibn Katheer (may Allaah have mercy on him) said, discussing some of the husband’s rights over his wife:

Allaah has given the husband rights and commanded the wife to obey him; He has forbidden her to disobey him because of the fact that he excels her and maintains her. Tafseer Ibn Katheer, 1/493

It is not permissible for any of your in-laws to enter your room without your permission, because Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning):

O you who believe! Enter not houses other than your own, until you have asked permission and greeted those in them; that is better for you, in order that you may remember” [al-Noor 24:27]

If any of them enters your room with your permission but he is not one of your mahrams – such as your husband’s brother – then there has to be one of your mahrams present, so that there will be no haraam khulwah between you (i.e., being alone together). You must also observe full shar’i hijab, and be certain that there is no risk of falling into fitnah (temptation).

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