Tag Archive | hayat

Teaching Our Children To Keep Away From Boyfriend-Girlfriend Relationships

THE GIRLFRIEND-BOYFRIEND RELATIONSHIP

In Islam, there is no such thing as a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. You are either married or you are not.

By Amatullah Islam

PART 1 – Preventing the Girlfriend-Boyfriend Relationship

Zina (fornication) has become a common place occurrence within the Muslim Youth community, and the Muslim girls and boys have sadly fallen prey to the snares of Western society. You may wonder how can such a situation occur when most Muslim parents virtually put their children under ‘lock and key’. The answer is that although most parents are strict where their children are concerned, they do not take the time to talk and explain to them about the seriousness of Zina. Instead, they give a Fatwa of “no boyfriend” when their daughters reach puberty. Such an action is like ordering a two year old child not to touch the power point. What do you think the child will do?

The following article highlights ways in which we can teach our children to shun this corrupt act.

In Islam, there is no such thing as a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. You are either married or you are not. This is what we have to ingrain into our children at the early stage. We should not wait for them to come to us when they are teenagers to ask about girlfriend-boyfriend relationship. At this late stage, even if we forbid them to have such a relationship, how certain are we that they will obey us if they are smitten by someone? Hence, it is important that we teach our children that the only time a girl or boy can have a relationship with a non-Mahatma (non-Mahatma is someone whom they can marry) is when they are married! Furthermore, if a girl or boy enters into a girlfriend-boyfriend relationship then he/she is entering into a pre-marital relationship.

At the teenage level, we should not be shy to teach them the severity of pre-marital relationship. We need to make them understand that that pre-marital relationships are like the extra-marital relationships, or what is commonly known as adultery or ‘an affair’. It ruins the community by corrupting the people. It unleashes base desires that, once allowed free-reign, will destroy families. We can quote to them the examples of illegitimate and abandoned children, broken homes, abortions, and sexual diseases – the list goes on.

We should also point out to them the punishment for sexual relationships outside of marriage:

Ibn Masoud (r.a.a) related that Prophet Muhammad (s.a.w) said, “The blood of a Muslim may not be legally spilt other than in one of three instances: the married person who commits adultery, a life for a life, and one who forsakes his religion and abandons the community.” [Bukhari and Muslim].

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The 10 Types Of Modesty

1) Haya’ Jinaya
2) Haya’ Taqseer
3) Haya’ Ijlal
4) Haya’ Karam
5) Haya’ Hishma
6) Haya’ Istisghar lin-Nafss Wa Ihtiqaran Laha
7) Haya’ Mahabba
8] Haya’ U’budiya
9) Haya’ Sharaf Wa I’zza
10) Haya’ Al-Mustahyi Min Nafsihi

1) Modesty upon sins
2) Modesty upon shortcomings
3) Modesty upon knowledge
4) Modesty upon generosity
5) Modesty upon decency
6) Modesty upon despise
7) Modesty upon love
8] Modesty upon enslavement
9) Modesty upon dignity
10) Modesty upon one’s self