Tag Archive | brother

O Sisters, Your Brother-In-Law Is Nothing But Death!

The Hadeeth:

A wife should not go out in front of the brother-in-law or be alone with him in the house, because the Prophet (saw) said:

Beware of entering upon women.

One of the Sahaabah said to him, “O Messenger of Allaah, what about the brother-in-law?

He said: “The brother-in-law is death!

[Bukhaaree, Fath al-Baari, 9/330]

Commentry By An-Nawawee:

An-Nawawee, may Allaah have mercy on him, said:

This hadeeth refers to all the relatives of the husband apart from his father and sons, who are mahrams for the wife and she is allowed to be alone with them; they are not described as “death.” It refers to the brother, nephew, uncle, cousin and other relatives of the husband whom she would be permitted to marry if she were not already married.

Because people customarily treat this matter so lightly, and a man may sit alone with his brother’s wife, the brother-in-law is likened to death, and he is the foremost among non-mahram men who should be prevented from doing so.

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The Communication Between Men & Women Over the Internet

The Communication Between Men & Women Over the Internet

Compiled by: Abu Ziead al-Athary

Assalamu alaykum wa Rahmatullaahi wa Barakatuhu

The noble Shaykh Ubayd al-Jabari ý may Allaah protect him- repeats his warning against communication, with mobile phones or over the internet, between men and women while claiming the justification of seeking knowledge or giving Dawaý.

In an open question and answer session taking place every Sunday evening in the Paltalk room ýSalafi Duroosý, the noble Shaykh said: ýCommunicating over the telephone is an area and way in which the heart of both the speaker and communicator will become attached to the otherýs!ý
Here is a transcript of what the Shaykh commented on after an answer to a similar question:

ýI would like to bring to attention a dangerous issueý. Which many of the Muslim men and women who they ascribe themselves to knowledge fall into. I have dealt with this issue before but many of the people have refused it and that they have been obstinate and rejected the advice!!

From the news that has reached me of the danger of this issue, a person finds it embarrassing to mention itý. And this is the issue, which is individuals speaking over the phone and communicating via mobile phones.

This matter has overcome many men and women with the justification of Dawaý but this justification is not valid and it is an excuse which is corrupt. It is not hidden from every Muslim man and woman whose heart has been filled with the awe and reverential fear of Allaah, that al-Khallwaa (being alone with a member of the opposite sex with whom there is no relation) is Haraam. The meaning here is that khallwaa is being alone with strange men and women.

As for the evil effects of this, as have been relayed to me, they are more severe than al-Khallwaa (being alone with a member of the opposite sex with whom there is no relation), since al-Khallwaa in a house or in a car causes the people to look at them, as for communicating over the internet and sending and receiving messages over the phone then this is a hidden Khallwaa, which is only known to the Originator of the heavens and the earth and the noble scribes (Angels).

Indeed many women have complained that what has busied their husbands are these conversations and communication and I will mention some of their evil effects for you:

Firstly: if these communications are taking place in a chat room, for example in ýSalafi Duroosý so I say in the name of those supervising ýSalafi Duroosý ýthis type of chatting is a sin upon youý this type of chatting is a sin upon you ý I do not hold it to be permissibleý I say this because I supervise ýSalafi Duroosý so I speak with the ruling of a representative.

Secondly: Chatting like this busies one from learning knowledge, since those who isolate themselves by conversing with whatever they want from conversation, then they busy themselves away from what is transmitted by ýSalafi Duroosý and from other knowledge-based lessons and this is obstruction in the path of Allaah.

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Choosing A Spouse (Who The Sister Chooses)

Choosing A Spouse (Who The Brother Chooses)

There are several things sisters look for when they are looking for a mate. But unfortunately many of them look for the wrong thing. As one of my good friends said: “Akhii all they looking for these days is money cars and superstars”.. A plethora of sisters have chosen brothers upon the wrong criteria and have paid dearly as a result.

The Messenger (Salallahu alaihi wa sallam) gave a golden advice to those who are the guardians of the sisters. He said: “If a man comes to you who has good religion and good manners than marry him (to the woman you are in charge of) and if you do not do so there will be great and widespread mischief on earth”. This hadeeth has many benefits and from them are:

1) The Muslim woman doesn’t just go on the street, sees a good looking brother and then seeks his hand in marriage . Rather this process goes through the guardian of the women. Hence for many sisters the process began on the wrong foot. And the scholars have said: “Whatever is built upon falsehood remains false”.

2) The man who is chosen should be one who has good deen i.e he should have knowledge of the religion and must act upon this knowledge. Whether it is in his belief, his understanding of jurisprudence or his dealings with others. He would also fear Allah in secret and in the open.

3) He should have good manners . And this would ensure that he treats his wife with the best of treatment and gives her the rights that were bestowed upon her by Allah the most high.

4) If this is not done there would be great mischief upon the earth .

No doubt mischief has been spread because this golden advice has not been taken by most guardians. And Allah’s help is sought. This is the case of what we would call ‘traditional’ Muslim families.

As for many reverts or even some sisters that grew up in Muslim homes they choose a man, whether Muslim or Kaafir, and seeks to marry him on the pretense of giving da’wah when in reality they wish to marry him for another purpose. This phenomenon is what is called in Trinidad the ‘Nikah Da’wah’. And what is sad is that when these relationships don’t work out they seek the help of the Muslims, and they complain, fret and get vext. I feel some sympathy but as the old saying goes you made your bed therefore lie down on it.

On this note I would like to lend some advice to the Muslims that would be beneficial to them. I am sure that all have seen that the common denominator for choosing a spouse is the religion and having good manners. If one knows this and doesn’t act accordingly then as we say in Trinidad: Crapaud smoke yuh pipe.

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***Victims Of Freemixing*** Must Read!!!

Question:

My husband and I wanted to know if it were permissable to take Arabic classes at a college where the classes are mixed (men-women). We understand that there is no mixing between the sexes, but confused about the definition of “mixing”. Please tell us what is permissable, what is not and give proof

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

The meeting together, mixing, and intermingling of men and women in one place, the crowding of them together, and the revealing and exposure of women to men are prohibited by the Law of Islam (Shari’ah). These acts are prohibited because they are among the causes for fitnah (temptation or trial which implies evil consequences), the arousing of desires, and the committing of indecency and wrongdoing.

Among the many proofs of prohibition of the meeting and mixing of men and women in the Qur’aan and Sunnah are:

Verse No. 53 of Surat al-Ahzab, or the Confederates (Interpretation of the meaning); “…for anything ye want, ask them from before a screen: that makes for greater purity for your hearts and for theirs…

In explaining this Verse, Ibn Kathir (May Allaah have mercy on him) said: “Meaning, as I forbade you to enter their rooms, I forbid you to look at them at all. If one wants to take something from a woman, one should do so without looking at her. If one wants to ask a woman for something, the same has to be done from behind a screen.

The Prophet (May peace and blessings be upon him) enforced separation of men and women even at Allaah’s most revered and preferred place, the mosque. This was accomplished via the separation of the women’s rows from the men’s; men were asked to stay in the mosque after completion of the obligatory prayer so that women will have enough time to leave the mosque; and, a special door was assigned to women. Evidence of the foregoing are:

Umm Salamah (May Allah be pleased with her) said that: “After Allah’s Messenger (May peace and blessings be upon him) said “as-Salamu ‘Alaykum wa Rahmatullah’ twice announcing the end of prayer, women would stand up and leave. He would stay for a while before leaving. Ibn Shihab said that he thought that the staying of the Prophet (May peace and blessings be upon him) was in order for the women to be able to leave before the men who wanted to depart.” [Narrated by al-Bukhari under No. 793]

Abu Dawood under No. 876 narrates the same hadith in Kitab al-Salaat under the title “Insiraaf an-Nisaa’ Qabl al-Rijaal min al-Salaah” (Departure of Women before Men after the Prayer). Ibn ‘Umar said that Allah’s Messenger (May peace and blessings be upon him) said: “We should leave this door (of the mosque) for women.” Naafi’ said: “Ibn ‘Umar never again entered through that door until he died.” [Narrated by Abu Dawood under No. 484 in “Kitab as-Salah” under the Chapter entitled: “at-Tashdid fi Thalik”]

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