Tag Archive | bad

The Damage Has Already Been Done – Story Of A Bad Tempered Boy

There once was a little boy who had a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he must hammer a nail into the back of the fence.

The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence. Over the next few weeks, as he learned to control his anger, the number of nails hammered daily gradually dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence.

Finally, the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper!

The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say “I’m sorry”, the wound is still there. A verbal wound is as bad as a physical one.

{{MashaaAllaah I had to put this on. Like I always say, a simple “Sorry” doesn’t really mean much, one needs to show that he or she is sorry for his past actions.}}

The Cause Of Bad Temper From The Husbands. What Is The Solution?

How To Get Your husband To Work For You!

It seems Ahmad could never do anything right. When ‘Aaishah asked him to fold the laundry, Ahmad was eager to help out. But rather than praise Ahmad’s contribution, ‘Aaishah criticized his methods: “Why must you bring the clean clothes all the way across the house and dump them on the couch?” she asked.

Ahmad turned on the television. “So I can watch something while I fold clothes,” he said.

‘Aaishah folded her arms and fumed. “I would have been done by now.”

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It started with the laundry, but it ended with Ahmad and ‘Aaishah’s breakup.

‘Aaishah had no idea that her statement, uttered in frustration after a long wait in line at the bank and a flat tire that day, could be so detrimental to their relationship.

Ahmad loved ‘Aaishah with all his heart, but when ‘Aaishah criticized his method of folding laundry, she inadvertently called him a failure.

After the laundry incident,Ahmad shied away from helping ‘Aaishah with the chores, which led her to the false conclusion that he was lazy.

She began to search for occasions to prove her theory true, complaining about underwear in the bathroom or an empty glass in the living room.

Finally, Ahmad was convinced that he would never be good enough for ‘Aaishah. Rather than suffer further blows to his self-esteem, he ended the relationship.

Every day women perform great feats of strength, juggling the roles of employee, wife, caretaker and lover.

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Choosing A Spouse (Who The Sister Chooses)

Choosing A Spouse (Who The Brother Chooses)

There are several things sisters look for when they are looking for a mate. But unfortunately many of them look for the wrong thing. As one of my good friends said: “Akhii all they looking for these days is money cars and superstars”.. A plethora of sisters have chosen brothers upon the wrong criteria and have paid dearly as a result.

The Messenger (Salallahu alaihi wa sallam) gave a golden advice to those who are the guardians of the sisters. He said: “If a man comes to you who has good religion and good manners than marry him (to the woman you are in charge of) and if you do not do so there will be great and widespread mischief on earth”. This hadeeth has many benefits and from them are:

1) The Muslim woman doesn’t just go on the street, sees a good looking brother and then seeks his hand in marriage . Rather this process goes through the guardian of the women. Hence for many sisters the process began on the wrong foot. And the scholars have said: “Whatever is built upon falsehood remains false”.

2) The man who is chosen should be one who has good deen i.e he should have knowledge of the religion and must act upon this knowledge. Whether it is in his belief, his understanding of jurisprudence or his dealings with others. He would also fear Allah in secret and in the open.

3) He should have good manners . And this would ensure that he treats his wife with the best of treatment and gives her the rights that were bestowed upon her by Allah the most high.

4) If this is not done there would be great mischief upon the earth .

No doubt mischief has been spread because this golden advice has not been taken by most guardians. And Allah’s help is sought. This is the case of what we would call ‘traditional’ Muslim families.

As for many reverts or even some sisters that grew up in Muslim homes they choose a man, whether Muslim or Kaafir, and seeks to marry him on the pretense of giving da’wah when in reality they wish to marry him for another purpose. This phenomenon is what is called in Trinidad the ‘Nikah Da’wah’. And what is sad is that when these relationships don’t work out they seek the help of the Muslims, and they complain, fret and get vext. I feel some sympathy but as the old saying goes you made your bed therefore lie down on it.

On this note I would like to lend some advice to the Muslims that would be beneficial to them. I am sure that all have seen that the common denominator for choosing a spouse is the religion and having good manners. If one knows this and doesn’t act accordingly then as we say in Trinidad: Crapaud smoke yuh pipe.

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