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Advice Of ‘Abdullaah Ibn Ja’far To His Daughter Before Her Marriage

‘Abdullaah Ibn Ja’far (may Allah have mercy on him) addressed his daughter saying:

(1) Avoid jealousy, as it is the key to your divorce;

(2) Avoid complaint, as it instigates anger;

(3) Adorn yourself for him, and make sure you wash away any bad odours by frequent bathing.

Some Advice To The Muslim Women, By Khaalid Yaseen [VDO]

Click here to download the lecture [external link].

This lecture is a vital one to watch, for both sisters and brothers. Shaykh Khalid Yasin goes through many important topics, such as the rights and responsibilities of the wife to husband and vice-versa, the controversial issue of polygamy (multiple marriage) – the wisdom and legitimacy behind it and much more. The Shaykh also gives lots of advice for a successful and happy marriage.

I have uploaded this lecture on my account on IslamicTube. Below are the links to the parts in shaa allaah:

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8  | Part 9.

Giving Zakaah To Someone Who Wants To Get Married

Question:

One of my friends wants to get married, but he does not have enough money to cover the expenses of getting married. Is it permissible for me to help him and to count that money as part of my zakaah?

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said:

If we find a person who can earn enough for food and drink and accommodation, but he needs to get married and does not have enough to do so, is it permissible for us to get him married using zakaah funds?

The answer is: yes, it is permissible to get him married using zakaah funds, and to give him the mahr in full.

If it is said: ‘how come it is permissible to get a poor man married using zakaah funds even if what is given to him is a large amount?’

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The Story Of Umm Habibah; A Loyal Wife By All Means

Umm Habibah was married to Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) through the proxy of the Emperor of Abyssinia. She was the daughter of the chief of Makkah.

Her name was Ramlah bint Abi Sufyan. She was born 25 years before the Hijrah. Being the daughter of a prominent merchant and leader of her people, Umm Habibah enjoyed a very easy and comfortable life.

She — herself one of the few literate Arabs at the time — was married to a wealthy Makkan who was versed in the knowledge of major religions of his time. Despite the fierce resistance the Makkan polytheists showed to Islam and the fact that her own parents were among the arch enemies of Islam, Umm Habibah was one of the early converts to Islam.

Out of fear for his followers, Prophet Muhammad advised them to emigrate to Abyssinia on the Western Arabian side of the Red Sea that separated the Peninsula from Africa.

Umm Habibah was one of the emigrants along with her husband, Ubaidullah ibn Jahsh. To her misfortune the husband, for some reason or another, apostatized and took to drinking.

Thus, Umm Habibah had to suffer not only separation from her home and family at Makkah, but she also suffered alienation from a beloved husband. Yet, as a courageous Muslim, she bore all these difficulties with patience and perseverance, finding solace in the freedom she enjoyed along with the other emigrants in Abyssinia under the protection of Emperor Negus who was an open-minded Christian.

Parenthetically, we may add that according to Muslim historians the Emperor of Abyssinia (known today as Ethiopia) did convert at a later date to Islam in secrecy, out of admiration for Islam and its teachings, which explains why Prophet Muhammad asked the companions to pray for him upon his death.

During the year of truce between the Muslims and the Makkan polytheists, Prophet Muhammad, sent messages to the heads of the big powers of the time, Khosrau of Persia, the Byzantine emperor and the ruler of Abyssinia.

Along with the missive calling Negus to Islam, the Prophet asked him to act proxy for him in the marriage to Umm Habibah. For Prophet Muhammad realized the agony she was going through in that far and strange land.

The best consolation he could offer her was honoring her by marriage to him. Politically this was also a tactful act, because through marriage to Umm Habibah, the Prophet would be an in-law to Abu Sufyan, the leading antagonist of Islam, which would, help in softening his hostile attitude.

Thus, Umm Habibah was honored not only by being asked in marriage to the Prophet of Islam, but she was also honored by having the Emperor of Abyssinia himself proxy suitor.

Upon hearing of the proposal, Umm Habibah appointed a Companion to represent her and act as guardian. The emperor celebrated the occasion on behalf of the Prophet by giving a feast to the Muslim emigrants who attended the wedding.

It was sometime later that Umm Habibah managed to go to Madinah to her husband along with the other Muslim emigrants led by a cousin of the Prophet, Jafar ibn Abi Talib.

At the house of the Prophet, Umm Habibah faced another important test of her faith, when she came face to face with her father Abu Sufyan who was (as mentioned earlier) the leader of the enemies of Islam.

For, when some allies of Quraish broke the terms of the peace truce with Prophet Muhammad, with the implicit approval of the people of Quraish, Abu Sufyan hurried to Madinah to cover up for the treacherous act.

The first person that came to his mind was certainly his daughter Umm Habibah, since she was the wife of Prophet Muhammad. He hoped she would intercede for him with her husband.

Upon entering his daughter’s room Abu Sufyan wanted to sit on the Prophet’s mattress. Umm Habibah quickly folded the mattress. He was surprised and asked:

Are you trying to keep me away from the mattress or keep the mattress away from me?

Umm Habibah answered: “It is the mattress of the Messenger of God. You are a disbeliever and unclean. I did not want you to sit on the Messenger of God’s mattress,

He said: “By God, something has gone wrong with you.

She answered: “On the contrary, God has guided me to Islam. Father, you are the master and leader of Quraish. How can you sit on it as you have not joined Islam and are still worshipping useless stones?

The mission proved a failure for Abu Sufyan. But for Umm Habibah, she passed another difficult test. She had to choose between loyalty to her faith and love for her father whom she had not seen for many long years. She chose to take sides with her faith.

Thus, when Umm Habibah died 44 years after the Hijrah, her memory keeps living in the minds and hearts of millions of Muslims.

Source

Wives Preventing Polygyny, By Shaykh Al-Albaanee

Definition: Polygyny: The condition or practice of having more than one wife at one time.

This is a much needed admonition to the muslimaat upon the sunnah, and may Allaah grant both men and women the akhlaaq (manners) to deal with such situations.

Shaykh Al-Albaanee (rahimahullaah) says:

Of course, I believe that that is not allowed for (the woman) (to come between her husband and polygyny) because of two reasons:

The first (reason) is that she is hindering (her husband) from the path of Allaah.

And the other (reason) is that she is opposing the command of her husband.

Because you know…that the obedience of a woman to her husband is obligatory the way the matter is with regard to the obedience of an individual from the individual members of a nation toward the Muslim ruler, with an obedience which I don’t say is blind but rather a complete obedience, except what is made an exception in the islamic legislation, which is (obeying someone) in disobedience to Allaah.

And from this results Islamically legislated rulings which (state) that if the Muslim ruler commands that which is fundamentally allowed, this command becomes obligatory for the one who is commanded with it to carry it out, because it is the command of the ruler. Exactly likewise is the command with respect to the husband with his wife.

So, if the husband commands his wife with some command while that command is allowed in the foundation of the islamic legislation and while the woman is able to carry it out, then it is obligatory upon her to obey him. And if she does not obey him, then she has disobeyed Allaah and His Messenger [sallAllaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam].

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How To Keep Your Marriage In tact: Through Obedience To Allaah

Below is a story I read in Gems And Jewels, Pp. 257-258. Beautiful, sad and a nice lesson gained…

How To Keep Your Marriage In tact: Through Obedience To Allaah

My story is plain enough, nothing strikingly poignant about it, but I tell you that perhaps you can learn from my mistake:

My marriage began as a very happy union between my husband and myself. We weren’t rich, but we were content with what we had, and we had a daughter whom we both loved dearly.

In the early stages of our marriage, we would put our daughter to sleep, and we would pray, glorify Allaah, and recite the Qur’aan.

One day, we checked our savings and realized that we had saved a considerable sum of money, and so I suggested to my husband that we should buy interest bearing shares, the proceeds of which we could definitely use to help our daughter later on in life.

We invested all that we had, including all of the money that I made from selling all of my jewelry. After only a short time passed, the prices of the shares plunged, we went bankrupt, and we were left with many debts. We came to learn the hard way that:

Allaah will destroy riba (usury) and will give increase for sadaqaat (deeds of charity, ominous, etc.).” [Qur’aan 2:276]

During one of the difficult nights that followed, I got into a huge argument with my husband and demanded that he divorce me. He then screamed out, “You are divorced from me!!! You are divorced from me!!!”

Both my child and I cried, and through the many tears, it was this that was constantly going through my mind: We were joined together through obedience to Allaah, and we then became separated through disobedience to Him.

The Four Keys To Jannah

The Prophet sallaallaahu alayhi wa sallaam said:

When a woman (a) observes her five obligatory prayers, (b) fasts during Ramadan, (c) preserves her chastity and (d) obeys her husband, she may enter by any gate of Paradise she wishes.

Reported by Ibn Hibban, al-Bazzaar, Imam Ahmed Ibn Hanbal, at-Tabarani and Al-Albaani.

A Man’s Advice To His Daughter

“Oh My Daughter if you desire the epitome of goodness, and beauty

That will decorate your body and mind, then fully do awat with habit of dressing immodestly, because the beauty of the soul is more noble,

The One (Allah) who is High, losft and magnificent, Has shaped your soul according to His way,

Then be like the sun shining forth for all people, whether noble or lowly,

The face’s beauty is that the eyes are captured within, enchanting the eyes in nobility, make the representation of your modesty a veil that is more befitting for a young lady of nobility,

A girl has no chance of success if her modesty turns its back on her leaves,

Make sure to dress yourself with the garment of chasity,

For every garment fades and become worn out,

Whenever you witness unhappieness, then rain down tears of perfection,

That flows in torrents, because tears of perfection are illuminating and brightens your cheeks,

This is more beautiful and precious than pearls.”

Majma’ Al-Hakim wa Al-Amthaal

Source

Is it Permissible For a Father To Prevent His Daughter From Marriage For The Purpose of Completing Her Studies?

Shaykh Abdullaah bin Abdul Rahman Al-Ghudayaan

[Presented and Translated by Mustafa George DeBerry]

Question: Is it permissible for a father to prevent his daughter from marriage for the purpose of completing her studies?

Answer: The Prophet (sallallaahu alayhi wa sallam) said: “If a person approaches you who is upright in his religion and possess good character, then marry him(to your daughter or the likes). If you don’t, there will be much corruption and evil throughout the Earth.”

Therefore, if a man approaches, and he has good religion and good character, if he is trustworthy etc, it is not permissible for the father to prevent the marriage from taking place. It is possible that the father makes an agreement with the man who is marrying his daughter, that she completes her studies.

This is because there is no doubt that in completing her studies is a benefit for the husband, the children, whether they are males or females, in the future, as well as benefit for the female and the Muslims as a whole.

If this female completes her studies, she can teach and benefit the Muslims in the future. I don’t think if the man has good character and religion, that he would want to prevent his wife from completing her studies.

A Wife Should Not Let Anyone Enter Her Husband’s Home Except With His Permission

Question:

When should a husband or wife allow or not allow others ‘mahrams or non-mahrams’ to enter the couple’s home?.

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

The marital home is a noble and honourable home, which Allaah has commanded both spouses to protect; the wife in particular is commanded to protect the trust of this home, because she is the lady of the house.

It was narrated from Jaabir that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said in the Farewell Khutbah:

Fear Allaah with regard to women, for you have taken them as a trust from Allaah, and intimacy with them has become permissible to you by the word of Allaah. Your rights over them are that they should not allow anyone whom you dislike to sit on your furniture. If they do that, then hit them, but in a manner that does not cause injury or leave a mark. Their rights over you are that you should provide for them and clothe them in a reasonable manner.” Narrated by Muslim (1218).

The issue of permission to enter the marital home may be summed up in the following points:

Firstly:

If the husband gives his wife clear permission to admit a specific person who is one of her mahrams or a woman, or if his permission is general, then it is permissible for the wife in that case to admit them to his house, according to scholarly consensus.

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