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Being A Mujaahid’s Wife

[Written by a Mujaahid’s Wife. A long read, but well worth it. Excuse the poor translation as I’m assuming it was done by a Urdu speaker who has English as a second language, rather than an English speaker who has Urdu as a second language, hence why there are some grammatical errors throughout the document, but nothing major inshaaAllaah. 

Note; This is in no way encouraging extremism or terrorism in any form, as Islaam is against all forms of violence, as can be seen in this post.]

In the name of Allah, most Gracious, most Compassionate!

Praise be to Allah, Lord of the worlds, peace and blessings be upon the best creation of Allah, his family and companions. And then:

Yes, Jihad is a men’s privilege but behind every mujahid there are women: his mother, grandmothers, sisters, wives etc, who took part in his journey. And frequently it is the wife that understands and supports her husband in his choice, and who shoulders part of privation and hardships of Jihad.

It is hard to overestimate the importance that a husband plays in every woman’s life, just consider how Allah, Great and Glorious He is, created Hava, and realize that it is not easy for a rib to be without the body, while the body can do without the rib. In this essay I would like to talk about our sisters that provide a reliable rear to our brothers-mujahideen.

Here came that day when your husband embarked on Allah’s path. How much he dreamed or you both dreamed, how much did he prepare for it, sitting literally “on suitcases” (on a rucksack to be more precise), and you aspired to this great favor and blessing, recognizing that award for that would be very great. And the door closed after him, and you are left alone in your house where so recently together you happily dreamed and contemplated about the future. From this moment on your are not just the wife of a good Muslim, your are the wife of a mujahid!

Your heart is filled with joy, pride for your husband, bitterness and pain of partying. You feel in heart emptiness, tears fill your eyes, but you say to yourself: “Be patient, the servant of Allah! Is not that what you wanted? Is not that what you dreamed of? Take pride, your husband is not the slave of Dinar, not a coward nor is he a traitor, he is one of the best on Earth, he is a mujahid on the way to Allah!

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[Poem] The Sorrow Of Growing Old Yet Still A Single Woman

It is said that a woman wrote the following poem from al-Baahah Mountain. It was written because she was forbidden from marriage until she became so old that few were interested in marrying her. She said:

When my fingertips wrote my letter, tears were flowing from my eyes.

I sent it to my affluent father who embraced me with protection and affection.

I sent it, and it contained that which I could not say; but what my heart and soul desires.

I sent it and tears fell upon its ink and I wrote it from a puzzling situation.

I kept it hidden from the most important one, but it did not prevent me from breaking from this concealment.

When I think of my drowning indeed my gray hair ignites as if my gray hair was luminous.

O you who are put off due to my old age.

Indeed, years of sadness have already passed.

When I see children, my tears flow, my heart burns from the fire of my deprivation.

When I see another woman living with her husband and her child sleeping in the nursery.

When I see her and her love with her child.

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Seven Beautiful Pearls Which Make A Wife Special

1) The Patient:

The woman who remains patient in all circumstances, and never whines, moans, nags or complains. When some trouble or affliction hits her, she turns to Allah for help.

2) The Protector:

The woman who protects her husband’s wealth & her chastity when he is away from home. She doesn’t gossip or mingle with other men, nor does she allow anyone in his house without his approval. She knows, respects and stays within the boundaries of his gheerah.

When he returns, she runs to his arms, as if she was anticipating for his return. She allows him time to relax before anything and does not burden him with the day’s problems, but listens attentively to his needs and does her best to take his tiredness away.

3) The Lover:

The women who adores her husband, beautifies herself, and smells nice for him. She craves for his children to the extent that whenever her husband glances at her, du’aa pours for her from the bottom of his heart. She is characterised with shyness and modesty, glancing with love in her eyes, only for her husband.

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Advice Of ‘Abdullaah Ibn Ja’far To His Daughter Before Her Marriage

‘Abdullaah Ibn Ja’far (may Allah have mercy on him) addressed his daughter saying:

(1) Avoid jealousy, as it is the key to your divorce;

(2) Avoid complaint, as it instigates anger;

(3) Adorn yourself for him, and make sure you wash away any bad odours by frequent bathing.

Some Advice To The Muslim Women, By Khaalid Yaseen [VDO]

Click here to download the lecture [external link].

This lecture is a vital one to watch, for both sisters and brothers. Shaykh Khalid Yasin goes through many important topics, such as the rights and responsibilities of the wife to husband and vice-versa, the controversial issue of polygamy (multiple marriage) – the wisdom and legitimacy behind it and much more. The Shaykh also gives lots of advice for a successful and happy marriage.

I have uploaded this lecture on my account on IslamicTube. Below are the links to the parts in shaa allaah:

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7 | Part 8  | Part 9.

Giving Zakaah To Someone Who Wants To Get Married

Question:

One of my friends wants to get married, but he does not have enough money to cover the expenses of getting married. Is it permissible for me to help him and to count that money as part of my zakaah?

Answer:

Praise be to Allaah.

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen said:

If we find a person who can earn enough for food and drink and accommodation, but he needs to get married and does not have enough to do so, is it permissible for us to get him married using zakaah funds?

The answer is: yes, it is permissible to get him married using zakaah funds, and to give him the mahr in full.

If it is said: ‘how come it is permissible to get a poor man married using zakaah funds even if what is given to him is a large amount?’

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The Story Of Umm Habibah; A Loyal Wife By All Means

Umm Habibah was married to Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) through the proxy of the Emperor of Abyssinia. She was the daughter of the chief of Makkah.

Her name was Ramlah bint Abi Sufyan. She was born 25 years before the Hijrah. Being the daughter of a prominent merchant and leader of her people, Umm Habibah enjoyed a very easy and comfortable life.

She — herself one of the few literate Arabs at the time — was married to a wealthy Makkan who was versed in the knowledge of major religions of his time. Despite the fierce resistance the Makkan polytheists showed to Islam and the fact that her own parents were among the arch enemies of Islam, Umm Habibah was one of the early converts to Islam.

Out of fear for his followers, Prophet Muhammad advised them to emigrate to Abyssinia on the Western Arabian side of the Red Sea that separated the Peninsula from Africa.

Umm Habibah was one of the emigrants along with her husband, Ubaidullah ibn Jahsh. To her misfortune the husband, for some reason or another, apostatized and took to drinking.

Thus, Umm Habibah had to suffer not only separation from her home and family at Makkah, but she also suffered alienation from a beloved husband. Yet, as a courageous Muslim, she bore all these difficulties with patience and perseverance, finding solace in the freedom she enjoyed along with the other emigrants in Abyssinia under the protection of Emperor Negus who was an open-minded Christian.

Parenthetically, we may add that according to Muslim historians the Emperor of Abyssinia (known today as Ethiopia) did convert at a later date to Islam in secrecy, out of admiration for Islam and its teachings, which explains why Prophet Muhammad asked the companions to pray for him upon his death.

During the year of truce between the Muslims and the Makkan polytheists, Prophet Muhammad, sent messages to the heads of the big powers of the time, Khosrau of Persia, the Byzantine emperor and the ruler of Abyssinia.

Along with the missive calling Negus to Islam, the Prophet asked him to act proxy for him in the marriage to Umm Habibah. For Prophet Muhammad realized the agony she was going through in that far and strange land.

The best consolation he could offer her was honoring her by marriage to him. Politically this was also a tactful act, because through marriage to Umm Habibah, the Prophet would be an in-law to Abu Sufyan, the leading antagonist of Islam, which would, help in softening his hostile attitude.

Thus, Umm Habibah was honored not only by being asked in marriage to the Prophet of Islam, but she was also honored by having the Emperor of Abyssinia himself proxy suitor.

Upon hearing of the proposal, Umm Habibah appointed a Companion to represent her and act as guardian. The emperor celebrated the occasion on behalf of the Prophet by giving a feast to the Muslim emigrants who attended the wedding.

It was sometime later that Umm Habibah managed to go to Madinah to her husband along with the other Muslim emigrants led by a cousin of the Prophet, Jafar ibn Abi Talib.

At the house of the Prophet, Umm Habibah faced another important test of her faith, when she came face to face with her father Abu Sufyan who was (as mentioned earlier) the leader of the enemies of Islam.

For, when some allies of Quraish broke the terms of the peace truce with Prophet Muhammad, with the implicit approval of the people of Quraish, Abu Sufyan hurried to Madinah to cover up for the treacherous act.

The first person that came to his mind was certainly his daughter Umm Habibah, since she was the wife of Prophet Muhammad. He hoped she would intercede for him with her husband.

Upon entering his daughter’s room Abu Sufyan wanted to sit on the Prophet’s mattress. Umm Habibah quickly folded the mattress. He was surprised and asked:

Are you trying to keep me away from the mattress or keep the mattress away from me?

Umm Habibah answered: “It is the mattress of the Messenger of God. You are a disbeliever and unclean. I did not want you to sit on the Messenger of God’s mattress,

He said: “By God, something has gone wrong with you.

She answered: “On the contrary, God has guided me to Islam. Father, you are the master and leader of Quraish. How can you sit on it as you have not joined Islam and are still worshipping useless stones?

The mission proved a failure for Abu Sufyan. But for Umm Habibah, she passed another difficult test. She had to choose between loyalty to her faith and love for her father whom she had not seen for many long years. She chose to take sides with her faith.

Thus, when Umm Habibah died 44 years after the Hijrah, her memory keeps living in the minds and hearts of millions of Muslims.

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