By Umm Hanifa
My dear daughters in Islam,
I wanted to write this article because it is important that you know the nature of men to both protect yourself and gain your husband’s love.
Allah knows best the nature of men and women and thus, He (swt) has instilled some rules to follow. Islam is a wonderful religion because it gives its right to every creature on Earth and of course to all men, women and children.
The children are the weakest of the three and Allah – with His infinite Mercy, has given them rights (and duties) but this is not the scope of this article.
Women are also weaker than men and this is not to mean that women are less important or less intelligent or less capable, it just means there are certain things that women are not as strong as men and one of such things is dealing with emotions or some aspects of our physical abilities.
Thus, women are a trust in men’s hands. Yet, Allah (swt) knows the nature of men and that there is a sexual weakness in the hearts of many of them that Allah (swt) has taught us how to protect ourselves from them!
When you go out, you always make sure that your house’s door is closed and so are the windows. This preventive measures are to avoid letting thieves in.
Many times you have heard ‘Do not invite thieves by leaving your window open’ of if you are going to park your car on the street ‘Do not encourage thieves by leaving your valuables insight in your car’ as this will most certainly attract thieves to your car, and the outcome of that is always not something you wish to deal with as it involves a loss in property and a loss in wealth and a shake to your emotions and nerves.
Such is the case with men! Women have to protect themselves so that men do not steal their bodies or their mind or their sharaf (Honour).
Women wear hijab because, as my father said, hijab is a shield (for French speaking sisters he said “carapace”). I said “yes”, then he said “a shield from men” and I said that this is exactly the reason behind the hijab. My father is not Muslim and is in his late 70s and he told me that on his trip to Egypt. Alhamdulillah, he finally understood the meaning of it and accepted it, may Allah make his heart accept Islam.
Men whose heart are diseased will try to hold onto anything which comes from a woman. They would look at girls. If they wore no hijab, then the boys would try to chat them up. If they wore the scarf, they would try to get a smile from them, if they wore niqab, they would try to steal a look from them and if they covered their eyes, that would stop everything. So protect yourself by wearing the hijab as it is meant by Allah (swt) NOT as it is worn today! It is not called ‘fashion Hijab’ it’s called ‘Making fun of Hijab and taking Allah’s command very lightly!’
Women are asked not to speak with a soft voice to men. Why? It is because the voice is the first door you open to him to invade your territory. And NO! it is not rude to speak with a firm voice and firm words. Again, it is about putting a shield and closing the door to the thief. It is about defending yourself just like learning self-defence is learning to defend yourself.
Women are asked not to beautify themselves when going outside nor to wear perfume because these things are all inviting to men. You see, when it comes to women, all five senses of men are in alert. You can invite them by any of those five senses. So it is up to you to close those five doors and keep your sharaf (honour) and gain respect or to open one or more of them and lose the respect of all and your honour becomes less important than your shoes.
Love yourself, respect yourself, close those doors so that you don’t let thieves enter and you will be loved, respected, not walked over. Open those doors to your husband and you will win his heart
The choice is yours.