The Mahr (Dowry) Should Be A Small Amount

[QUESTION]:

I and many others have observed that many people are very excessive when it comes to the matter of the mahr (wedding dowry that is paid to the bride), and that they seek great amounts of mahr when it comes to the marriage of their daughters, and they stipulate as a condition the giving of other gifts to them, along with the mahr.

This wealth that people demand in such cases, is it halaal (lawful) or haraam (unlawful)?

[ANSWER]:

What is prescribed in the Sharee’ah is that the mahr should be a small amount and that people should not compete with each other in this regard, acting in accordance with the many ahaadeeth which are related about this. They should also help facilitate marriages and be keen in preserving the modesty and decency of the young Muslim men and women.

And it is not permissible for the awliyaa (guardians of the brides-to-be) to demand and stipulate gifts for themselves, since they have no right at all in this matter. Rather the right belongs to the woman, and in some particular cases to the father.

He may stipulate a condition as long as it does not harm the daughter, nor lead to the delaying of the marriage. However, if the father forgoes such a right then this is better and more preferable.

Allaah – the One free from all defects – says: “And marry those amongst you who are single and also marry the pious of your male and female slaves. If they be poor, Allaah will enrich them out of His Bounty.” [Soorah an-Noor 24:32].

In the hadeeth of ‘Uqbah ibn ‘Aamir radiallaahu ‘anhu, the Prophet sallallaahu ‘alayhi wa sallam said: “The best dowry is that which is easy.” This was narrated by Abu Daawood and al-Haakim who authenticated it.

Adh-Dhahabee’s Advice To Women (And Their Husbands)

Imaam Adh-Dhahabee said:

If a woman wears the clothing of a man and it is tight on her such as around her body like that of some of men’s clothes, like tight sleeves, tight private regions and so forth, (then) indeed she has imitated him and she has brought the curse of Allaah upon herself (1).

If her husband does not prevent her from doing so, or is pleased with what she is doing, he has indeed shared in that curse, (as he has) aided her in such a sin and he will be sinning with her which is the opposite of what Allaah has ordered him to do. That is to have Taqwaa and he has also bee ordered to save himself and his family form the Hell-Fire, as Allaah The Exalted says in the Quraan:

“O you who believe, ward off from yourselves and your families against a fire whose fuel is mankind and stones.” [66:6]

Footnotes:

(1) Ibn Abbaas said, “The Messenger of Allaah cursed those men who imitate women, and cursed women who imitate men.” [Bukhaaree]

By Allaah They Have Lied

Sa’d bin Ibraheem said:

Zinneerah was a roman slave and became a muslimah. The mushrikeen tortured her until she lost her sight because of the severe torture.

The mushrikeen said “The laat and ‘uzzah took her sight”.

She said, “I disbelieve in al-laat wal ‘uzzah”, and Allaah returned back her sight.

In another narration:

Abu Bakr Radiyallaahu anhu freed zinneerah from slavery and she lost her sight when she was freed. Quraish said: “its only laat and ‘uzzah that took her sight”.

She said, “By Allaah they have lied, al-laat wal ‘uzzah neither harm or benefit“, and Allaah returned back her sight.

['Al-'Isaabah fee tamyeez as-Sahaabah', by Ibn hajr al-'Asqalaani]

The Old Man And The “Hoor Al-Ayn”

Women Are ‘Awrah – Explained

‘Abdullâh b. Mas’ûd – Allâh be pleased with him – said:

Women are but an ‘awrah (something private to be covered). A woman might leave her house without there being any problem with her, but the Shaytân seeks her out and says [to her], “You will not pass by anyone except that you will impress/please him.”

A woman puts on her clothes and is asked where she is going, to which she replies, “To visit a sick person,” or “to attend a funeral”, or “to pray in the masjid”; but a woman never worships Allâh in the way she does when she worships Him in her house.

[Al-Tabarânî. Graded sahîh by Shaykh Al-Albânî in Sahîh Al-Targhîbi wa Al-Tarhîb Vol. 1 p84]

Source

A Mother – A Childs First Love

A mother asked her family doctor; “Why don’t women of this generation find enough milk to breast-feed their children?“

The doctor remained silent for  moment, and then said; “Imagine cows that are in the field that are constantly driven at high speeds. Each night, when they return to the barnyard, they will not be able to give forth milk. Madame, such is the state of mothers today!“

Moral Of The Story:

yes, such is the state of mothers today. A mother in these times leaves home in the morning just as men do, striving with all their strength, preserving through the heat of the sun or through the cold of the winter, toiling – either of her own accord or under coercion, because at the end of the day (or month) she needs her paycheck.

How will the woman just described be able to find milk in her breasts in order to suckle her babies? Furthermore, how can she find time to look after her children? To bestow upon them her love? To give them her full attention?

What Is More Fitnah The Feet Or The Face?

Regarding Allaah’s statement, “…and let them not stamp their feet, so as to reveal what they hide from tehir adornment.” [Noor(24):31]

Ibn ‘Uthaymeen says:

“This means that a woman must not strike her foot so as to let it be known what she conceals (from her adornment), such as her ankle bracelets or anything else that she adorns herself with for a man. So is a woman is forbidden (in this aayah) from stamping her feet, for fear of causing fitnah for a man, due to what he hears rom the sound of her ankle-bracelet or its types, then how about exposing the face?

Which of the two is a greater cause for fitnah? That a man hears the sound of tthe ankle-bracelet produced by the foot of a woman, not knowing who she is, nor her beauty nor if she is young or old or if she is unattractive or beautiful. Which of these two is a greater fitnah? This, or that he looks at a woman’s uncovered face that is perhaps beautiful, fair, young, bright, enticing, and which is perhaps beautified with that which attracts fitnah (temptation) and calls for the prohibited look?

Indeed, every man that has an interest in women knows which of the two is a greater fitnah and which is more deserving of being covered and concealed.”

[Taken from "Four Essays On The Obligation Of Veiling" Ch. 2: An Essay On Hijaab, p. 31]

A Mother’s True Love

Abu Hurairah related that Allaah’s Messenger said;

There were two women and each of them had a son. A wolf came and took away the son of one of them. One said to the other, “It took away your son.” And the other said, “No, it took away your son.“

So they went to Dawood (David) for judgement, and he ruled for the older of the two. Then they went to Sulaymaan Ibn Dawood (Solomon, the son of David) and informed him of what happened.

He said, “Bring to me a knife and I will cut him in two.“

The younger of the two women said, “Do not do so, may Allaah have mercy on you, for he is her son.“

Then Sulaymaan (knowing the love of a mother), ruled for the younger of the two women.

[Bukhaari & Muslim]

What Is The Khimaar That A Woman Is Obliged To Cover Herself With?

Regarding the statement of Allaah: “And to draw their khimaars (veils) over their juyoob (bosoms)” [24:31], Ibn ‘Uthaymeen mentions:

“The khimaar is that which a woman uses to cover and veil her head, such as a head cloth. So if she was commanded to place the khimaar over her jayb (bosom), then she was also commanded with covering her face, whether it is because wearing the khimaar necessitates that or because it is understood from general reasoning.

This is since if covering the neck and bosom are obligatory, then veiling the face is an obligation for all the more reason, since it is the source of beauty and enticement.

Indeed, when people seek the beauty of a figure, they do not ask except concerning the face. If it is beautiful, they do not look towards anything else in the same manner as possessing importance. This is why when it is said that such and such woman is beautiful, one doesn’t understand from these words anything except the beauty of the face.(1)

So it is clear that the face is the place of beauty that is asked about and informed of. And if it is this way, then how can we come to understand that this religion, which is based upon wisdom, would obligate the covering of the neck and chest and then allow the exposure of the face?”

[Taken from "Four Essays On The Obligation Of Veiling" Ch. 2: An Essay On Hijaab, p. 29]

Footnotes:

(1) As the shaykh mentions elsewhere: “There is no doubt that the face is the place of attraction and beauty and from where temptation is derived.” [Ibid. p.31]

Poem: Hijaab

Hijaab

[By Sister Fatme H. Jaber from USA]

You look at me and call me oppressed,
Simply because of the way I’m dressed,

You know me not for what is inside,
You judge the clothing I wear with pride,

My body is not for your eyes to hold,
You must speak to my mind, not my feminine mould,

I’m an individual. I’m no man’s slave,
It’s Allah’s pleasure that I only crave,

I have a voice so I will be heard,
For in my heart I carry His word,

“O ye women, wrap close your cloak,
So you won’t be bothered by ignorant folk”.

Man doesn’t tell me to dress this way,
It’s law from God that I obey,

Oppressed is something I’m truly not,
For liberation is what I’ve got,

It was given to me many years ago,
With the right to prosper, the right to grow,

I can climb mountains or cross the seas,
Expand my mind in all degrees,

For God Himself gave us liberty,
When He sent Islam, to you and me!